Lack of Stamina

I am embarrassed these days about my lack of stamina.  No doubt it is due to the large amount of extra pounds I carry, the lack of consistent sleep, getting older, and the myriad of stressors in my life.  However, nothing demonstrates it more to me than today.

Our plan was simple:  get up when the kids do, eat breakfast, grab showers, go to Target for some items for the kids, go swimming at RPAC, have lunch, hit the library, head home and have the kids read while one of us goes to the grocery and have dinner at home.

The reality was so much more exhausting.

We were awakened by sounds from downstairs of boys happily engaging in balloon swordplay with treasures gained at last night's PTO Family Pizza Night.  It was 8:30.  I was tired, but we started moving.  The kids had blueberry bagels, Husband had yogurt, and I ate my Fiber One cereal.  Yes, I have gotten old enough to now require a steady intake of fiber-y foods.

I grabbed a shower while Husband wrangled the kids dressed and had them make their beds.  A shower was a necessity if I had to endure the already embarrassing ordeal of a bathing suit in public.  We left the house at 10:00.  Husband was already grumbling about the kids' behavior, his aches, etc.  He was in a foul mood.

Our first stop is Target, where we picked up most of what we needed.  We found two pair of size 10 slim jeans for Igor.  He is growing like a weed.  We picked up size small swim trunks for Hannibal whose waist is two thick for the extra small trunks he wore to his lessons Tuesday.  We also found a t-shirt on clearance for Igor, and a pair of Batman pajamas for Hannibal.  We looked for Crocs for Igor, but it is not yet the season.  We picked out Valentine treats for the 45 kids in the eldest's class, something else for the 6 in the youngest's, and special treats for the teachers.  Then some moisturizer for me and a hair clip I have been looking to try for some time.

My plan was to give the kids a snack of dried fruit and raisins in the car on the way to the pool.  But the entire family was hungry.  So we went to lunch instead.  Husband was emotional and craved Five Guys Burgers.  A conversation about healthy choices ensued and we went there anyway.  We plan to have a healthy dinner.

After lunch of burgers/hot dogs and fries, we go to the pool at RPAC.  I have a small breakdown about being seen among these lithe college students in my bathing suit.  The scenery on campus is fabulous, but I stick out.  We play for a while in the recreation pool.  Husband even gets to sit in the hot tub for 20 minutes while the kids and I race (me on my arms since were in the shallow end) across the pool.  It was quite a workout.  Hannibal is getting better about letting his face get wet, but did have a harrowing moment when he foundered and couldn't get his legs beneath him.  Good thing Husband was in the hot tub and missed it!

We used the family changing rooms to shower the kids and turn back into humans.  That was when I felt exhausted first - and we still had more to do.  I chalked it up to the chlorine and powered on.  Husband did go get the car, but that was due to the cold, harsh winds.  He met us in a different parking lot we could reach without leaving the building.

The family is hungry again.  I think it is time for the dried fruit I brought.  Nope, Husband decides we should "feed the monster" and go to Mozart's for "one last treat.". Sure.  Emphasize the deprivation of healthy eating.  Sheesh.

We get to the bakery and they are having their annual open house.  It is crowded.  We get the food to go.  Husband dropped $50.  Seriously?  Yes.  Two chocolate croissants, one slice of champagne strawberry cake, a chocolate raspberry tart, a chocolate raspberry remoulade, a marzipan peach, and AN ENTIRE TIRAMISU!  There goes all the calories we just worked off and then some.  But now the dilemma - where to eat it? 

We look at the time and realize it is 3:30, we are 1/2 an hour from the library, and it closes at 5:00 p.m.  Out comes the dried fruit and we head for the library with the treats waiting for home later.  The kids fall asleep in the car.

At the library, we tell the kids no computer time.  This is a short trip.  Well, that is, until every family member has to take a "potty break" (and some of them, more than one!).  I am happy to find three of my books have come in (Husband only has one).  Igor picks up another Diary of a Wimpy Kid book and Hannibal picks up the first book he sees.

At this point, we are too tired for the grocery OR movie night.  We head home.  We eat some of the pastries.  Igor works on homework.  Hannibal does "art."  Husband and I read.  We have potatoes baking. 

Dinner is a baked potato and steamed vegetables and milk.  Husband skips the veggies and the kids don't notice.  Then, they watch a half-hour cartoon before we put them to bed.  And then I blog while Husband spoons out some tiramisu.  Then we plan on reading and bed.

I could go to sleep now.  For us, this was a really busy Saturday.  Tomorrow will likely be a lazy Sunday at home.

Freezer Cooking

I finished reading, "10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget.". One of the recommendations was to do something called "once-a-month cooking.". I am not quite sure I could spend an entire weekend cooking meals for a month, but I would like to have some ready-made meals in the freezer so we don't have to eat out as often.  Since today was library day, I picked up a book, "the Everything Freezer Meals Cookbook.".

I am reading the book now while the kids play on the computer at the library.  My only concern is the "gourmets" I live with.  They scoff at freeze meals.  Well, Husband does.  Iago frequently freezes food in batches and reheats it.  Current favorites are bean soup and garlic bread.  So I am going to try it and see how it goes.  It is by far cheaper than eating out.  And we need to start saving money.

Oh, library time is up.  Time to head to the hardware store.  If you have any good freeze-ahead meals, send me the recipe!

30 day cleaning plan

So, a friend just posted this article on Facebook and I checked it out.
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/the-schedule-house-cleaning-in-131142

This sounds like a good plan.  I hate our "cleaning-a-thons" that we have before people come over.  I might incorporate some of this.  We have the Aunts coming over for dinner on Sunday and the house is a wreck.  Husband is going to be out tomorrow night taking care of transferring his old car to BIL (did I tell you we bought Husband a new 2012 Camry on Saturday?).  So that leaves Friday and Saturday to clean house.  The fact that the Aunts are not the tidiest means I'm not all that stressed, but I will use this as an excuse to clean house and get back to a "maintenance" state.  Seriously, I'm sitting here in the office blogging and I feel cramped because of all the stuff on the desk.  Maybe I can spend about 20 minutes cleaning off the desks and filing in here?  Okay. . . I'm on it.  I'm motivated by this article. . .

First Monday Miss

Monday, I told Husband I would have to work late. He was prepared to feed the kids and put them to bed. Then, at noon, I found out I didn't need to work late, so I texted Husband. When I was packing up at the end of the day and I hadn't heard back, I texted him again.

We proceed to exchange texts, with the result that he will pick up Subway on the way home.In the midst of those texts comes the, "oops, I forgot it was First Monday."

That was odd since it was actually the 2nd Monday.  Apparently, since my father-in-law was planning to be in Florida for First Monday, he had arranged with Husband at Christmas to take the kids the following Monday.  However, this never made it on the calendar, nor had Husband shared with Iago or me.

So my poor father-in-law was at our house, but no one was home. Or so it seemed. It turns out that Iago was at home, but on the treadmill and couldn't hear his phone.  And he doesn't answer a knock on the door.   After much texting and phone calls, the kids were off for a night with their grandpa.

We ate Subway as adults - in the living room in front of the television watching a really horrible rated R movie.

Mall Shopping

Today, I made the mistake of entering a mall.  I have a friend getting married and her wedding shower is next weekend so I had to go buy a gift from her registry.  I researched it online and headed in to the exact place it was located, selected it, and waited in line behind 4 people exchanging Christmas presents.  What should have been a commando run was a long line and wait.  I hate malls.

The last time I was in the mall was right before Christmas to pick up a Hot Topic gift card for my 16-year-old nephew.  I hadn't been in a mall since the previous Christmas when I bought him a Hot Topic jacket.  I still remember the clerk asking me if I had a "Hot Topic Member Card."  Uh, no.  Do I look like the Hot Topic demographic?  I only have one hole in each ear and not a single tattoo and I've never colored my hair.  I'm a married mother of two.  (If you are unfamiliar with Hot Topic, check out their website:  Hot Topic.)  Not really marketed toward me.  But my niece and nephew love it.  It would be akin to what I remember "Spencer's Gifts" being when I was a teenager.  Gosh, I'm old.

However, the mall trip left me realizing that I no longer have the art of window shopping.  When I was a teenager, I had no money.  I bought much of my own food, clothes, and personal toiletry items while living with my grandmother.  That left little room for what most teenagers spent their discretionary income on - and I didn't get an allowance to speak of, I had to work for every dime.  On the weekends, I would go with my friends to the mall and we could be there for hours without spending a dime.  Now, I only go to stores when I need something specific and I rarely just "look around."  I don't really have the time and I feel like if I'm there I should buy something.  I do most of my gift buying at the holidays on Amazon because I want to avoid the crowds in the stores and it is easier for me to stick to my budget.

I miss window shopping.  It's an art I need to remember.  I do most of my window shopping on Amazon now, too.  I just add things to my wishlist that I want.  It also lets me prioritize what I want and share the list with people for gift giving occasions.  But it's not the same as walking into a store and looking around and touching things, without needing to buy anything whatsoever.

Of course, the other part is I would go with my friends and I rarely shop with friends anymore.  I haven't found anyone with my style and preferences and budget - all important in a friend who shops with you.  Compatibility is important so you're not always shooting down the others preferences.  Perhaps I should hunt for a "shopping buddy."  Who knows?

Not much to report today

Fourth day of Diary of a Wimpy Kid read aloud to me while I do a mile on the treadmill.  My feet hurt and I haven't seen any luck on the scale (I know, give it time).

Igor lied to me this morning, so I took a piece of his Christmas candy away.  He then stomped his foot and I took xbox away for the day.  What did he lie about?  Saying he had brushed his teeth when he had so clearly not.

A little worried about finances based on the credit card bill from Christmas, but while it will be tight we can make it work.  This is why I was worried about getting a new car for Husband before my bonus came.  We shall see what BIL does and when.

Really tired.  But didn't want to miss a day of blogging here.

A Maury Povich Kind of Day

Many of you may not be aware, but way back in the late 90's, my older brother appeared on the Maury Povich show, one of the early paternity test episodes.  This was before Maury perfected the signature, "You are NOT the father!"

My brother at that point had been dad since day one to my niece and all the show did was confirm what we all saw when she was born:  she was clearly my brother's kid.  He came home from the trip with new-found legal rights.  Before this, her mom (his girlfriend at the time), had used her as a pawn.  Now, more than 14 years after the episode aired, my niece primarily lives with my brother.

Today, I feel like I am reminded of that Maury Povich saga.  BIL, the brother-in-law not living here, was served with paperwork for a hearing for child support for a child born to his wife in December 2006.  Based on the timing, it should not be BIL's.  He moved in with us in the summer of 2005 (actually, his wife kicked him out on the anniversary of his mom's death, so we even know the date).  He says he has not seen her since then and based on the pit of despair he was in while he lived with us, and the police reports we filed when his wife's boyfriend threatened to hurt BIL, I actually believe him.

The hearing was today.  Husband bought his brother clothes for the hearing as a Christmas present.  The hearing was scheduled for 8:30 a.m.  Husband planned to pick BIL up at 7 a.m.  When he got there, BIL was still asleep.  Husband woke him up.  Then BIL'S current girlfriend wanted to go with them and played her usual manipulative games to try and make him late.  But she underestimated the powers of my Husband.  They arrived 7 minutes early.

The wife never showed.  BIL gave his story and they proceeded to swab him for DNA.  Now, we wait while they contact the wife to get a swab from the kid to determine the validity of the claim.

The best part is that if BIL hadn't shown - a big possibility if Husband hadn't been involved - they would have automatically awarded a judgment against him, his wages would have been garnished, and he would have suffered a long, uphill battle to fight the child support award.

Welcome to my soap opera life.  Oh, and we have added BIL back to our family cell phone plan since his girlfriend's grandma had theirs shut off.

Two Birds with One Stone

The new year has begun and we have returned to work.  We have agreed, Husband & I, to get back on track.  We had sort of lost our way.  I want to get on the treadmill for about 30 minutes each day.

I am a busy, working mom.  Finding that 30 minutes is challenging.  Then, at the library yesterday, Igor requested that he be able to read his chapter book to me.  He picked up the book Diary of a Wimpy Kid:  The Last Straw.  He wanted to read it aloud to me.  Well, his teachers have told us he needs to work on his reading fluency.  So I agreed.  Now...where to find the time.

An idea was born.  Tonight, I walked on the treadmill while listening to the story of a kid creating a time capsule.  My son loved being able to read to me and I got my workout in.  We'll do it again tomorrow.

Distribution of Work

I think Husband believes he does more around the house than I do.  And that irritates me beyond belief today.  Today is the last day before we return to work from the holidays.  We picked up stuff to make pierogies for dinner.  So it gets to be 6:30 p.m. and I ask him when he was going to start dinner.

"Oh, I didn't realize I had to cook them," he says.

Well, of course he did!  I don't cook pierogies - and when I do, I don't cook them with bacon, onions, and sour cream the way he and his brother do.  So, yes, I expected him to cook dinner.  Then he was all put out.

Yes, I had one more day off than he did so I suppose it is expected that I achieved more than he did this weekend.  But I can only think of one chore he accomplished this weekend - carrying the Christmas tree back down to the basement.  I had to wrangle the kids and collect all of the Christmas decorations and put them back in the boxes, untrim the tree, remove the Christmas lights from outside, etc.  And I did that with the kids home with me all day!  He would argue that we don't have to do any of this if I didn't want the house decorated - he wouldn't bother if it was all up to him.

In addition, I did all the laundry - mine, both kids, and the communal linens.  He did one load of his own.  I even made sure to put it all away.  I broke down boxes from all the presents for recycling - he helped me at the end because it was clear I was frustrated.  Otherwise, he has happily been sitting in front of the TV for so long today that the TV auto-shut-off has engaged at least twice that I am aware (it takes 3 hours before it turns off).

So I'm irritated.  Particularly because I get up from the couch where I have been researching refrigerators and induction ranges and decide to get some work done on the association website while we wait for pizza (yes, pizza - he didn't feel like cooking) and notice that the kids have left the lights on in the dining room, have left out the play dough that he got out for them, that the newspapers I thought the kids had put in the recycling bin are spread out all over the office floor, and that the dishes from the melted cheese & nacho lunch (yes, he thought that was an adequate lunch) are still sitting on the table.  I clean up the papers, make the kids clean up the play dough, and clear the dishes.  All while he plays Harry Potter on the Xbox and we wait for pizza.  Yes, I think I can be irritated.  You?

Frugality

When I was in college, I had frugality covered.  It was required.  There were days I bawled like a baby in my dorm room trying to figure out where the money would come from to buy toothpaste.  I scrimped to pay my sorority dues only to hear about those that were behind on theirs - knowing I had seen them partying the weekend before.  I often skipped social engagements because I had no funds.  I resented those who had little regard for budgets.

Now, the sad part is, I have become one of those people I resented.  My husband and I make a decent living.  For 11 years, we lived in a house we bought based on my immediate post-graduate school (and deeply in student loan debt) incomes.  My career gratefully advanced and we became comfortable.  Then we had extra.  Then, two years ago, we bought a bigger house to preserve my sanity. 

Which leads to the need to reinstitute frugality.  Not the wondering-where-toothpaste-will-come-from frugality, but one that builds an emergency reserve, pays off long-term debt (like those lingering student loan debts), builds a retirement future, and saves for my childrens' college.  We are doing some of these on a small scale, but each time we increase our income, it seems an expense pops up to equal the increase.

To help me, I have begun reading a book from the library, 10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget by the writers of Wise Bread.  There have been a few tips and hints that are ludicrous to me.  However, reading it has made me want to go back to the mindful spending of my early 20's where I had to consciously decide where every penny was going.  Maybe not to that extreme, but there are days when I don't know where entire paychecks have gone and I know that cannot continue.

One of the articles I read in the book basically said that personal finance comes down to one basic principle:  spend less than you earn.  Now, to get back to that mentality.  I am sure some future blogs will talk about ways I am doing that.  (Be aware, this is not a New Year's Resolution - I resolved years ago to never make them - but simply a new guiding principle as I try to regain my contentment.). The unexpected will certainly pop up, but with a new mindfulness, perhaps I won't have the sick chest pain trying to see where the money will come from. 

Happy New Year's!

Husband and I rang in the new year last night drinking a bottle of ice wine and watching Glee on hulu on the xbox.  How lame!  Then I slept until noon.

Yesterday's shopping for cars was illuminating.  Husband is pretty decided on buying a Toyota Corrolla.  I thought for sure he would go with the VW Golf TDI.  But he is practical and the Corrolla has more positives than the Golf, which is just more fun to drive.  Now we wait to decide whether we buy now or later depending upon BIL's intentions.

Husband did have an incident yesterday.  The TDI was a stick and while he thought the car was in reverse, it was in 1st.  He didn't hit the gas, but was on a hill.  He tapped the car in front.  No damage to that car, but the car he was driving has a scratch you can't see, but can feel, where the license plate touched the bumper.  Now we have to wait until Tuesday to hear what the estimate is for the damage.  Personally, I think the dealer is responsible, but need to do our research.  Not money I wanted to spend.