New Car Shopping Today

This is really a story about BIL, the non-residential brother-in-law.  BIL lives with a woman I will call M.  BIL is still married to T, but hasn't had contact in over 6 years.  T is suing BIL for child support for a child born in 2006 that couldn't possibly be his.  Isn't my family's life a soap opera?  Husband is going with BIL to the hearing next week.  So this week, he took BIL shopping for some nice clothes to wear to the hearing.  They had time to talk.

The end result is that we have to buy a new car for Husband now so that we can hand down his 2001 Saturn L300 to BIL.  We had planned on purchasing Husband's new car in April, following my (hopefully good) bonus check and once we have paid off the dental bills from Iago.  At a minimum, I wanted to make it until February.  But we need to do it now.  Why?  Because BIL's lease on the apartment runs out at the end of January.  BIL can't leave M because he uses M's car to work - BIL delivers pizza for a living.  BIL has been told that he can move back in with the Aunts, which surprises me based on the ichor we have received since he had moved in with them the first time.

Oh, and we will be adding another cell phone to our plan again because BIL uses M's grandma's family plan.

I just had hoped that we would equalize the family bills following the purchase of my new car before we added a second new car.  And I need to be sure Husband isn't settling.  He has a tendency to forego his long term happiness for short term issues.  That is, he'll buy a cheaper car because he thinks he has to and then be miserable for the next 10 years he drives it.  I am hoping to make him see reason and see the investment, rather than the "I need a car now" gut reaction.

The only silver lining is that year-end sales are still going on and if we buy by Wednesday, we can get a really good deal.

More Freecycle

Husband cleaned out the toy box today.  The impetus was, well, that the wooden toy box had been broken and he had to screw the hinges back into place.  We have a pile of broken toys going into the trash.  Then there was the pile going to Freecycle.  I hope some people can use the Zhu Zhu pet battle arena, a non-working Tickle Me Cookie Monster, some cat pan liners (didn't work with our clawed cat), kids books with read-along CDs, a Diego wheeled backpack, or a miscellaneous box of kids trucks/trains.  Only time will tell.

I really need to get back on my cleaning kick.  But health issues lately have been plaguing me.  Right now I'm dealing with kidney stones and some IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).  I see the doctor on Monday for follow up from my ER visit Thursday night.  My hypochondriac self is in full hyper-drive right now.  And that only exacerbates the conditions.  Oh well.  I've lost 13 pounds so far.  Husband has lost almost 50.  I am so jealous!

Iago's medical bills

Right now, I am sitting in the lobby of the eye doctor while Matthew has his exam.  Once he is done, I will pay for his exam and glasses (whatever is not covered by Husband's insurance -- we are lucky to be able to insure him as a "sponsored dependent").  This will run me around $500.

Yesterday, he saw the dentist for his six month follow up.  He needs 2 more crowns and about 9 fillings.  Total cost?  $3200.  He has maxed out his dental benefit for the year and we've already put about $3500 in his mouth so far this year.  We don't know if we are going to be able to do anymore this year.  So I don't know if we'll be able to let him get this work done.

So much for new furniture in the house for a while.  Between husband, Iago, and Igor's teeth, there is little money left over.

"Vacation Day"

Today is day one of vacation.  On the agenda:

• Football camp for Igor.
• Preschool registration for Hannibal.
• Dropping off our two crib mattresses we no longer need to a friend who's becoming a grandma twice over (this was on the agenda, but has since been postponed to later in the week).
• Iago dentist appointment
• Inara veterinary appointment
• Igor Little League game

Whew.  I started the morning by sleeping in a half hour.  Then I did a step aerobics video.  I'm so out of shape and this is a beginner DVD, and I could only do 15 minutes.  Ugh.  Followed by a shower.  Breakfast.  A little Facebook, a little blogging.  Loaded, then unloaded, the crib mattresses.  Now I'm loading paper recycling to drop off on the way to preschool registration.  Busy day ahead!

I miss the old days where vacation meant going somewhere nice and curling up to a nice book.  Oh well.

Trapped in Elevator

Last Monday, I was trapped in an elevator at work.  Here is my saga:

The morning started out with me giving Igor an apple using the apple slicer and slicing my thumb trying to remove the core.  I didn't know it would go downhill from there.

I work in a 5 story building.  I should take the stairs.  I usually do - going down.  But going up, I take the elevator.  We are required to swipe our badges in order to get to my floor - the 3rd floor.  I have never known the elevators to break down, even though they always sound like they are one inch from stopping.

Last Monday, I walked down the stairs to the deli to grab a quick lunch:  a chicken wrap, baked potato chips, and cantaloupe/strawberries.  It was 11:30 and I had a 1:00 p.m. meeting with my boss and a vendor.  I take the elevator up.  It stops on three, makes a "ka-chung" noise, and drops a little.  Then the doors don't open.  I'm in there by myself, with my cell phone sitting back in my cubicle.  Great.  Now what do I do?  I've never been trapped in an elevator before.

I try the door open button.  Nothing.  I swipe my badge and press 3.  Nothing.  I see the "Alarm" button and press it.  It sounds like a doorbell.  I wait.  I can hear people happily chatting in the 3rd floor lobby.  I press the alarm button again.  I don't have any way to tell time, so I eat my fruit.  I press the alarm button again.  Nothing.

I am starting to panic a little.  I have forgotten I have a 1:00 meeting.  Now I'm wondering if my co-workers will even notice I'm missing.  They might just think I'm at a meeting.  We're very self-directed.  I don't want to be stuck in here forever.  Finally, I see this little phone box.  I open it up and press the "Help" button.

I get a recording.  Yes, a recording.  Now, I'm really flipping out.  "We will be transferring you to our central call center.  Please wait.  This message will repeat. . . . We will be transferring you to our central call center. . . "  Oh, ok.  I guess I'll wait.  What else can I do?  Will the call center be in the U.S.?  How long will I have to wait for help?

"Hello.  What is your emergency?"  says the voice from the call box.  Oh, great.  I've dialed 911.  Well, ok --I'm trapped in an elevator!  What else is 911 for?

"Uh, yeah, I'm trapped in the elevator."

"Are you experiencing any medical emergency?" says the friendly female voice on the other line.

"No, just want out of the elevator."

"Great.  Have you tried pressing the door open button?"  Sure. That's the problem.  I feel like I'm on a call with IT asking me if I've tried rebooting my computer.

"Yes, about 5 times."

"Okay, well, sometimes we find pressing and holding it down for 5 seconds resets the elevator.  Can you try that now?"  I AM on the call with IT, it seems!  Ok, I play along.  Nothing happens.

Voice on the phone takes my name, again asks if I'm in distress, and then asks what floor I'm stuck on.  "Is there anyone in the elevator with you?"  No.  "We are sending someone to help you.  Please be patient.  If you experience medical distress, please push the button again.  Or, if you just need to find out where things are, please press the button."  Ok.  I'll just sit here and eat my lunch.  So much for a "quick" lunch.

A few minutes later (what felt like eternity), I hear Dave, the property management company's maintenance guy, knock on the elevator door.  "This is Dave.  Anyone in there?"  Yes, Dave, it's me - Judith.  Are you letting me the heck out of here?  "No, sorry, I have to call the elevator company."  What???  I hear him on the phone and then say, "Oh, your truck just pulled in.  Did someone call you?"  Apparently, pressing the button went straight to the elevator company's main call center and they dispatched a truck.

Dave tells me he's going downstairs to get the elevator people.  I'm out about 5-10 minutes later.  Turns out I was in there about 45 minutes to an hour.  They all ask if I'm ok.  I don't want to admit I'm as panicked as I was.  Then I have to explain what happened so they can try to figure out what went wrong.  Then I got to my desk and had just a few minutes before my meeting.  Good thing I ate in the elevator.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur.  I didn't get much done.  That night, I took Igor to a Columbus Clippers game.  It had a 2 hour rain delay.  We left.  I felt like I had an Eyeore kind of day!  I was so glad when it was over.

Belled No More

When we acquired the new cat, Inara, she came with a pink paper collar wrapped around her neck with her former name ("Asia") written on it.  We left this on her until a suitable replacement was found.  I stopped at Pet People after my visit to the eye doctor and bought her a pretty green plaid cat safety collar (it comes apart if it gets stuck on something and doesn't choke the cat).  The collar had a bell.

The bell has come in handy.  We know where she is venturing.  It is how I knew she was hiding behind the dryer, how I knew she had finally ventured down the stairs to the first floor, and how I know about her nighttime explorations to the first floor.  It has provided us bountiful information about her comings and goings.

Yesterday, Iago (the residential brother-in-law and babysitter) came downstairs early.  This is unusual.  He was also grumpier than usual for a Friday (Mondays are the worst mornings for him, by Fridays he's typically at least responsive in the mornings).  I asked him if he was feeling well.

"No, tired."
"I didn't wake you up early, did I?"  I asked him.
"No.  It was the cat."
"How did the cat wake you up?" I asked.  After all, this is the same brother that has slept through the smoke alarms in the house going off, who has to have us pound on his bedroom door when he oversleeps and has even gone back to sleep after saying he was awake.
"It's the bell," he says.
"Really?  I've sort of gotten accustomed to it."  It's true.  I have.  Though, at night as we're drifting off, she has a tendency to knock the metallic bell against her stainless steel water dish and it makes enough of a sound to wake Husband.

I waited until I was in the car to laugh.  Seriously?  This little tiny bell wakes him up.  It was too much to keep to myself, so I called Husband.  Of course, Husband was sympathetic to the brother.  "Well, you know, it wakes me up, too."  So did the trains when we first moved in, but now you're accustomed to them.  Sheesh.  Of course, any time he feels I'm not being "fair" to his brother he takes his brother's side.

Later that day, at work, I get a text message from Husband.  "Iago sent me an email asking if we would think about removing the bell from the cat's collar because he hasn't been sleeping.  FWIW, it wakes me up too."

Seriously?  I messaged back that we'd talk at dinner.  We didn't, but I just gave in.  Now we will not know where she is.  But I removed the bell from her collar.  With pliers.  It wasn't easy.  And I didn't even get to give the good news to Iago - the kids went over and told him.

As I was going downstairs, I said something towards his bedroom.  Iago started to come out, saying, "Well, thanks, because I really wasn't sleeping. . . and the bell was keeping me up. . . "

At this point, I'm frustrated.  "I just don't care.  I did it."  How much fuss do we have to make about a stupid cat bell anyway?

For the rest of the night, I paid for that remark.  Husband didn't appreciate me telling his dear brother that I "didn't care."  Well, clearly, I did because I took the damn bell off.  But I just am tired of hearing the excuses / reasons why he's so special and we have to do things to accommodate him.  Isn't it enough that I acquiesced?    Do I also have to be willing to listen to him talk about it ad nauseam?  There's only so much I could take.  But Husband was mad at me for the rest of the night.

The end result:  Cat has no bell.  We don't know where she is or what she's doing.  And the brother-in-law is the only one happy.  Pretty much par for the course around here.

Making progress

We are making progress in many areas.  My ticker today says I have lost 5 pounds.  Husband is doing the same app, which helps.  Though, admittedly, his gripes and moans about the tool or his perceived deprivations make this process more challenging. 

The new cat is getting more accustomed to us.  She stayed out during "family petting time" for a longer period, didn't run under the bed but stayed on top cleaning herself while we did bedtime stories and songs, and then went onto her new perch while we left to tuck the kids in bed.

Today, husband is working on his resume for a job he isn't sure he wants, but that he thinks he should at least be interviewed.  I am blogging and reading some magazines destined for recycling.   This is helping clear more clutter from the living room.

I would say this is a good day.

Inara - cautious explorer

After the fiasco with Husband, Inara cowered under the bed for a couple of days.  We couldn't coax her out and didn't want to pull her out because it would make things worse.  Husband mistakenly left a shirt on the floor next to the bed and in the middle of the night, the cat pooped on it.  "Take that," she said (or so I imagine).  Of course, this meant that I had to reassure Husband that we didn't gain a defective cat with elimination issues.  Husband was afraid we would go through the same thing we did with our previous cats that we had to give up when Igor was a toddler due to their excessive elimination habits.

After a few days, Inara started coming to the edge of the bed and letting us pet her and finally came all the way out.  However, she was cautious.  And she hadn't been eating much.

We went to the pet store and bought her another toy, another mat for the litter box downstairs, and a cat tower to put in our bedroom.  She is showing minor interest in it when we're around, but I've found her sleeping in it in the middle of the night.

We started leaving our bedroom door open.  Monday night, she decided, after we went to sleep, to explore the house.  Based on the tinkling of the bell on her collar and her meowing, she went everywhere - including downstairs.  I heard her scratching in the litter box downstairs (success!) even if we found later that she just marked it.  She did become afraid of the beeping dishwasher, so I went downstairs at 2 a.m. and turned it off.  I got no sleep on Monday.

Tuesday morning we found her under the utility tub in the laundry room.  Iago scared her when he dropped his laundry baskets loudly to the floor.  He does laundry on Mondays, after all (and Monday was a holiday, so this was his "Monday").  He hadn't heard me tell him - 3 times - that she was there, so the darting cat whisking past him and running back up the stairs caught him by surprise.

So, she's starting to come around, but hasn't quite figured out what to do.  We had a great family petting session last night before bed.  She's more friendly with Husband and I in the morning before the kids wake up and in the evening after they go to bed.  She's smart to be afraid of the kids!

Husband and the Cat

We acquired a pet finally.  Hannibal is potty-trained and we had promised.  We found a beautiful, one year old, tiger/siamese mix that is now named Inara (shelter name was Asia).

We filled out an application on Sunday, but the earliest we would be able to get her is Monday.  We spent Sunday night cleaning our bedroom since we decided that would be the best place to ease her into the house.  It took forever.  I have a lot of clothes and they were piled in front of my dresser.   I felt like a true hoarder as I had difficulty letting go of things.  It was sad.  But I did toss several stained pieces of clothing and hung or put away everything.

Monday night we picked her up.  The kids were overjoyed and super-excited.  We had dinner before we went to get her and that's when it started:  Husband handed out "The Rules."

"Boys, when we get the cat, you'll have to... "

I forgot all of them.  I can only imagine how much of it was retained by the 3 year old!  Seriously, the cat has claws and will let them know when they have done something wrong.  It's a hard lesson, but they will remember it.

Once home, there were more rules:  don't move too fast, don't talk too loud, don't chase her under the bed...you'd think we were giving the kids the keys to the nuclear kingdom instead of a cat.

Inara has done extremely well notwithstanding -- that is, until tonight.  The kids cleaned the bonus room and, since she had done so well, we were going to let her roam the second floor.  I assumed my husband, who grew up around cats knew what he was doing and I let him do the honors.  I was wrong.

Instead of just opening the door and letting her come out to explore on her own terms, he picked her up and carried her to Igor's room.  He didn't notice the heavy shedding.  He continued to Hannibal's room.  In the hallway, she scratched him.  He put her down.  She ran and hid in Iago's bathroom which was open with him brushing his teeth in it.  Husband went in and got her and took her back to our room.  We left the door open for an hour and a half, but she has been cowering under our bed ever since.  We'll try again tomorrow.

However, tonight's bedtime story to the boys was about the lessons on how to pay attention to the cat's nonverbals.  With some more rules thrown in.  I really think my kids will eventually have therapy journals (read this as the word "blogs") of their own some day.

Package Arrived!

Today, my Amazon order arrived.  In it:

• The Wilton "Animal Crackers" pan that I need to make a Giraffe cake for my friends' daughter's baby shower on Saturday.
• Shapely Girl's Let's Get Stepping DVD - it's a step aerobics video for beginners, particularly plus-size beginners; and, my personal favorite
• Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?:  a book by Peter Walsh (the guy from Clean Sweep who I remember providing very clear instructions on how to let go of stuff you don't really need just because it reminds you of someone).

I'm excited.  However, tonight my knees hurt since I haven't gotten a bunch of sleep the last two days due to the pain in my neck (literal, not the kids).  So I focused on making the fondant backdrop for the baby shower cake instead.  I also have to find time to make 24 cupcakes for "Cupcake Wars" for charity at work on Friday.  Busy week.  But I'm glad the book came - I can't wait to start reading it!

Weight loss app

Today, the thing I did to move forward is loaded a weight loss app onto my phone.  I had initially done the Weight Watchers one, but found it rather cumbersome.  Also, I haven't really gotten on board with the new "Point Plus" program.
I chose instead MyFitnessPal.  I have logged my weight and entered my food for the day.  We'll see how this goes.
(I love the new phone!  I am able to multitask.  Blogging while watching movie or bathing kid is awesome!)

Pond pumps, filters, and stagnant water

Several weeks ago, my pond fountain/filter died.  We went to Aquarium Adventure.  I asked the nice lady there what I needed to buy to replace it.  She sold me a nice $80 pump.  Then I got busy and my pond stagnated.  I am pretty sure we're growing mosquitoes out there.  So it was time to do something.

Tonight, while Husband took the oldest to his Little League game, Hannibal and I worked on putting the new pump together.  However, it doesn't have a filter and may not be the right kind to attach to a filter (according to my minimal internet search).  Ugh.

So I decide to try the dried out old pump -- which now works!   What do I do now?  I will probably go to the store and buy a filter if I can find one to go with the new pump.  The new pump is more powerful, so I'd rather use it than the old one.  We shall have to see.  In the meantime, I have a lot of maintenance to do. 
My plants all need put into soil because they don't seem to be doing well in what they gave me at the store.  And that lily was expensive!  I am still learning.

Car woes -- Part Two

Yesterday, we went to pick up Husband's car.  Only $940 (thank you, AAA discount!).  We went to dinner after paying for it with the intent of driving it home on the way back.

While at dinner, both kids express desire to ride with dad in his car on the way back.  We concede.  We move the second booster into the car and pack the kids.  Iago and I drive away since Husband insisted we need not stay.

Turning into our development, we get the call.  The car died not 2 blocks from the shop (which is now closed).  We turn around and go rescue.  We have to push the car back to the shop.  Strike that -- Husband pushed.  I was only allowed to steer.  Iago eventually got out and helped after about 25 gripes on how his knees hurt.

Husband is upset.  So am I.

It doesn't help matters that the last speaker in my car has now shown it is not functioning either.  No air; no radio.  We both need new cars.  If only we could afford it!

Car woes

We have lately been experiencing some significant car woes.  First, Husband's car needed a new oil pan and some new tires.  Owning a 10 year old Saturn meant that the part for the oil pan was pricey.  We spent $800 to fix it.

The next month, it was my car's turn.  I drive a 12 year old Saturn.  We set a limit of $1500 for repairs; above that and we would get a new car for me.  The bill came to $1300, so we opted to fix mine.  Why?  We want to pay off the loan on the 2006 Honda Odyssey before we add another car loan.  The minivan will be paid off in November.

Then my car had yet another setback.  We set the limit at $500.  This time, we had to have AAA tow it from the garage to the mechanics.  It was my gear shift cable.  $160 just to diagnose.  We fixed it for $660.  Still cheaper than car payments, right?  And waiting means I might be able to get a car I like rather than settling.

Now, Friday, Husband's car dies during rush hour.  Another AAA tow plus $60 for being beyond the 3 mile allowance.  Problem?  Fuel pump - $990.  To fix or buy new?  Well, I am supposed to get the next new car.  My car IS the oldest.  But Husband hates that his car has no air conditioning and lacks confidence that it will continue to run.  I go on my trip to Cleveland knowing we will need to test drive on Sunday.

Sunday, Husband finally test drives the Honda Fit -- the car he's been backing for months.  It won't work because there is no place for his knee to rest while driving.  He had pinned all his hopes on this to no avail.

Today, he test drove the other choice, a Volkswagon Golf TDI (a diesel).  He came home liking it, but acknowledging that no human could sit behind him.  However, they are bringing back the Passat in the fall and it will only be $1,000 more than the TDI.  So he wants to wait.  We authorized the repair of hbis Saturn tonight and we should get it back tomorrow.

We reviewed our finances and we will payoff the minivan with some of the cash left from my bonus check.  Then we will put the equivalent of the car payment into savings.  We will wait until our cars die before getting a new car (or 2!).  However, at this point, we will sink no more money into repairs on either car.

I think I want a Honda CRV, but I have yet to test drive.  Plus, it's more expensive than we've budgeted.  Boo hoo.  Time to think about where I can get more money. . .

Angry Birds

For my birthday this week, my husband gave me a new mobile phone.  My old phone was a pink flip phone that dialed and took fuzzy pictures.  That's about it.

My new phone is an HTC EVO Shift.  This means we now have a text and data plan added to our phones (I say our because everyone in the family had to get new phones, apparently).  I am now discovering how to text (including this blog post!), load apps, check my email and Facebook, and play games.

One that the lady at the store loaded to show us how was the free version of Angry Birds.  My kids can't get enough.  Igor even turns off the Xbox 360 to come watch.  It's addictive.  But I have to put it away now so I can study -- my SPHR exam is Tuesday morning!

Plant Sale

Despite my gastroenteritis (virus caught from older child who had it earlier this week), I insisted on heading down to Ohio State University's Chadwick Arboretum Plant Sale.  Husband was not looking forward to it, but I really wanted to go.  If, for no other reason, to help identify the plants that we already have at home.

We looked around briefly, Husband ran into someone from work, we scoped out the plant auction for future reference, and ended up buying nothing.  However, the end result was what I truly wanted:  Husband will help me measure the beds, draw up a diagram, and we can start planning our garden areas.  After all, he's an engineer and doesn't like my haphazard style of gardening where I just buy pretty things I like and then try to figure out where to plant it.

As an added bonus, measuring the beds will help us know how much mulch we have to buy.  Unbeknown to us,  our Homeowner's Association requires us to finish replacing our mulch in the beds by May 31st.  So, we'll order it and place it in the beds on Friday when we're taking a vacation day to go look at a preschool for Hannibal.

I'm so excited Husband will be helping me design our beds!  I've already decided I want one of the front beds to be more of an herb garden. . . maybe.  Depends how Herb Experiment #3 goes.

Iago and the Stove

For those of you waiting for your next installment of foibles of my brother-in-law who lives with us, I will now regale you with the most recent one.

On Thursday, my Husband was heading home early to meet the Orkin man.  We have a service contract for them where they come out every other month and do perimeter defense to keep the flying-stinging-things away.  I'm allergic, after all.  We have wasps on the second story deck again, so we made a call and scheduled an appointment.  The Orkin man was due between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m.  Since Iago won't answer the door for anyone, Husband had to be home to meet him.

As a reminder to Iago, Husband called home to notify him that he was on his way.  Turns out, Iago was panicking.  Apparently, he had melted metal to my stove.  Yes, I said melted metal.  He was looking up ways to get it off the stove, but wasn't able and was freaking out that he had ruined our stove.  Husband tells him not to fret and that Husband will look at it when he gets home.

The story I get on the phone immediately after is that Iago had been cooking popcorn in the aluminum "Whirly-pop" popcorn pan and had melted it to the stove.  When he picked it up, some of it stayed behind.  I am now thinking that my credit-card points I've saved for a new stainless fridge will be spent instead on a new stove.  And my sister-in-law, who wants our old stove, will be sorely disappointed by the loss.

Later, we are to hear the REAL story.  Apparently, Iago was making popcorn.  He wanted a warm spoon for the oil he was going to put on the popcorn.  So he decided to put FOIL on the electric burner, set the spoon on the foil, and turn on the burner.  When he was done, he went to pull up the foil and it stuck to the burner.  Surprise.  What was he thinking?  Ugh.

When Husband got home, he was able to work to remove most of it using a straight razor.  We're still able to use the burner.  But it looks bad.  Husband and I are now discussing fridge vs. stove.  Then, if stove, will we do an induction stove, an electric stove, or a gas stove?  We'd need to make modifications for a gas stove, but I would much prefer it.  Husband does not want gas because of how dirty our old one got because nobody ever wiped down the stove or the burners.  My second choice would be the most expensive option:  the induction, which would require all new cookware.  I hate electric stoves and so does Husband, but they are our cheapest option.  The debate continues. . . Good thing my gift card I've earned doesn't have an expiration date!

Herb Experiment #3

Tonight when I got home, Husband told me that we needed to go to the Hardware Store after dinner.  Apparently, Iago had asked him for some duct tape.  When Husband asked why, Iago explained that the toilet seat in his bathroom had cracked and he wanted to tape it.  Husband explained, "We're not hillbillies, we can buy you a new toilet seat!"  So we had a plan for after dinner.

Until the three-year-old intervened.  He threw so many tantrums, we didn't dare take him out of the house for dinner.  Husband decided to stay home with us, but beckoned me to take Igor and Iago to dinner and the hardware store.  We had a nice dinner at Steak 'N Shake and then went to Home Depot which was next door.  We bought a nice elongated toilet seat.  Hopefully, either Iago or Husband will install it.

While at the hardware store, I picked up some plants.  It's that time of year.  I picked up some gladioli bulbs to plant in the front flower bed.  We had some there last year and I was surprised when they came up.  I'd like to have some again that I can cut and bring inside.  I also picked up two dalmatian purple foxglove plants (picture from the internet here:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/fingerlakes/4710780344/).  They need part-sun (4-6 hours) and will look nice near the pond.  I think the frogs will like them, too.

Then, well, I decided to try Herb Experiment #3.  I paid a little bit more attention this time.  I bought three plants:  Thyme, Sweet Basil, and Rosemary.  All call for full sun (I put the flat-leaf parsley back because it is part-sun).  This means I can plant them in the same container and put them out back on my patio.  They came in biodegradable planters that you can just set in the soil.  That's pretty cool.  We'll see how this goes.  I'll need to remember to water them.

This weekend, I want to go to Aquarium Adventure and look at plants for the pond.  I also want to plant the foxglove plants.  The Metro Park at Inniswood is also having a plant sale on Sunday.  I don't know if we'll have time for that now that we have the Little League schedule for Igor and my study group for my SPHR meets Sunday mornings, but I would like to try.  Next weekend is the plant sale on campus and I'm hoping we can go.

This weekend will be busy:  haircut tomorrow morning on the other side of town, Little League practice, SPHR study group session, Little League opening night game, plant sale at Inniswood. . . whew.

Thursday Dinner

As many of you who know us, there is a suspicion that Iago has Asperger's, a high level functioning on the autism spectrum.  However, it is only suspicion and we have not confirmed it.  One way we see this surfacing is in some of his, what I classify as, "obsessive-compulsive disorder" (OCD) behaviors.  Thursday night (which, yes, I'm just thinking to mention now) is a great example of this.

Iago has been cooking dinner for the family on the Wednesday nights when I don't come home, but go to my 4 hour class instead.  I must have made a comment to Husband because they made arrangements for him to make dinner on Thursday for us instead.  Igor had the day off school.  I came home to homemade pot pie, salad, and pound cake with strawberries for dinner.  It was very nice.  Iago even did all the dishes (by hand, of course, because he needs us to show him how to use the dishwasher because we haven't yet. . . but that's a whole separate issue).  While he was cleaning up dishes, Husband took the kids upstairs to get into their pajamas and brush their teeth.  After that, they planned on coming down to watch an episode of Justice League on the Blu-Ray before bed.

Meantime, I decided to go get the mail.  The kids hadn't brought it inside because Igor didn't have school.  All I did was walk to the mailbox and come back.  In the 2 minutes I was gone, Iago locked the front door.  I knocked on the door and rang the bell to no avail.  I had forgotten the passcode to the garage opener, too.  I went back to the front door, pounded on the door and hit the doorbell repeatedly.  To our neighbors, walking their dog, I looked like a crazy person.

Well, Iago has a habit of locking the deadbolt whenever he passes the front door as he heads upstairs.  Apparently, he'd finished doing the dishes and went upstairs, locking the door as he went.  He heard the doorbell and the pounding, but doesn't answer the door.  Finally, Husband heard the bell and came down to open the door.  I was mad, but Iago didn't even realize he had locked the door on me!  He didn't know I had gone outside, either.  Egad!

(As an aside, he had also planned on coming with us to his father's for Easter dinner, but bailed out right before we left.  Not surprising.  Igor had seen him in the morning and said he had his "mad face" on and that "mad face" looks the same as "grumpy."  I think the kids woke him up too early when they were playing in the bonus room.  Oh well.)

Failed Gardener Meets Resilient Daffodils

I am not a gardener by any means.  My green thumb stops with African violets.  Houseplants.  Apparently, houseplants that few people can grow.  I kill everything else.  But African violets I grow easily.  I almost killed my husband's philodendron even and people tell me they are a very hard plant to kill.  (Note:  It has recovered well from the transplant and is thriving with it's new pot and trellis.  We'll see what happens when I move it into the sunroom again this year.)

A few examples of my inability to grow things are the "herb experiments" the kids and I have tried.  Herb experiment one involved buying a kit with seeds for chives, thyme, basil, oregano, and some other herb.  It came with pots, a stand, the seeds, seed starting medium.  Those that sprouted (about 2/3 of the herbs) died off soon after.  Complete failure.  Herb experiment #2 had an initial 50% failure.  In this experiment, we bought live plants, planted them in a flower box in the sunroom.  Two of the four plants died almost immediately.  The other two survived until we moved them inside to the Dining Room in the fall.  Only the chives survived and they're hanging by a thread right now.

Another example is the rue my father-in-law has given us.  Rue is used in krupnikas, a Lithuanian liqueur that my husband can now make thanks to a recipe from his dad's friend.  He's made two batches that I recall.  To make it, you need rue.  So FIL has given us one plant.  Its dead carcass is still sitting in a planter in the sunroom (yes, I need to throw it away, along with the broken planter).  The second one is in the Dining Room with just a few hints of green left.  I've read up on how to grow them, but whatever I'm doing isn't working.

So, we have this beautiful house with a great yard and I am trying to be a gardener.  Husband has always said he will help plant trees, bushes, and perennials; however, he will not plant annuals for me.  Last fall, I bought a pack of 45 daffodils in a mesh bag from a home improvement store.  I bought bone meal and something else and took them home with the intent of planting so I would have daffodils in the spring.  I love daffodils.  But things got busy and I never seemed to have a weekend to plant them that was right.  They sat in the garage on the floor in the mesh bag the entire winter.  They were near the garage door, so a few times water seeped in.  I thought they'd be moldy.  Imagine my surprise when this week I entered the garage and saw yellow bursting from the bag!  The daffodils were growing from the bulbs in the bag, without even having been planted.  Today, I dug a trench in the back flower bed by the pond and planted the bulbs, leaving the yellow stalks sticking out.  There were some moldy bulbs I threw away (and some I wasn't sure and planted anyway).  I now have a row of "almost daffodils" that should flourish now that they have soil!

Other garden notes:  I also spent some time pulling the dead detritus out of the pond and putting it on the patio to "dry" before putting it in the landscape bag to go for compost.  Husband mowed the lawn.  Pretty sure we have a dead tree.  We have some grass issues, but we'll ask our lawn care company to look at that.  My lilies of the valley still look dead, but I'm hoping they'll surprise me this season.  My creeping phlox is in blooming, the red maple trees (we have 2) I thought were dying have buds on them, and our columbine has green leaves.  A few hostas survived.  I do want to put more plants in the area near the pond to attract some more bugs for the frogs to eat.  Maybe we'll be able to go to the plant sale at the arboretum on campus on Mother's Day weekend?

Anyway, the rain came and we all came inside to the sunroom.  I tidied up a bit.  Now it's off to dinner.

Busy Week

Planted some lilies of the valley in the backyard last weekend.  The kids came outside to "help" but ended up playing light saber duel with plastic baseball bats until I made them go inside.  Hurt my knees a little - I need a garden kneeler because the concrete patio was a little rough on the knees.  I planted about 36 of the little roots and sprouts in the ground around the patch of green that I think is a daylily.  I was a little worried that all the rain this week would be bad for them, but saw a few shoots of green this weekend.  I'm hoping they take and fill in thickly.  My paternal grandmother had lilies of the valley in the same place - under the waterspout that the hose connected to.  Only her water spout was next to the front door off the driveway.  Mine happens to be on the back patio.  I'm having trouble getting pictures off the camera or I would have posted.

This week was a little busy:

• Monday night:  the kids went out with grandpa for dinner.  I worked late to get some things turned in to a vendor and brought home chicken lettuce wraps from Pei Wei.
• Tuesday night:  nothing, really.  It was my one free night.
• Wednesday night:  SPHR prep course from 6-10 pm.  Home by 10:30, in bed by 11.
• Thursday morning:  Compensation association breakfast.
• Thursday night:  HR Association membership committee meeting.
• Friday night:  movie night with the kids - Legends of the Guardians

In between all of that, I have a busy time at work with the departure of one of my coworkers and many of our vendor deadlines this week and next.  Starting Friday, I had some sciatic pain.  Had trouble sleeping Friday night.  We didn't do much around the house Saturday, but did take the time to go through Hannibal's closet and pull out hand-me-downs from Igor that now fit.  We also removed items that don't fit that I'll pass on for her son who's a year younger than Hannibal.  We also drove to our Amish furniture store and placed the order for Hannibal's full size bed - a nice one in maple that will be done in about 8 - 10 weeks.  Then we stopped at Der Dutchman and picked up pies since we were so close.  Husband loves them, I'm not as big a fan.  While I peeked at the gift shop, he picked out a chocolate creme pie, a cherry pie (yuck!), an individual apple pie (since he knew I didn't like cherry), and donuts for Sunday morning.  We really don't need all this in the house!

Last night, I hurt so much I went downstairs and slept on the couch, then the recliner, then the other couch.  I woke up because the dishwasher went off, because Husband's phone beeped for needing to be recharged, and the continued pain in my back.  Oh, and then because Igor came down at 7 am to play Xbox.  At 7:30, my alarm went off and I hobbled up the stairs, grabbed a shower, and went to meet my study group at Starbucks, eating my donut on the way.  Had a chai with the study group.  Pain intense as I drive my stick shift home, hurting each time I have to move my left leg.  

At home, Husband got me a Vicodin and one of my muscle relaxers the doc gave me last time this happened. Then we packed up the kids and went to Roosters for lunch.  We were going to head to the hardware store on the way back, but between my back and husband's intestines we weren't up for it.  On the way back, the meds kicked in and I fell asleep.  So did Igor.  Husband stopped at the hardware store (took Hannibal inside while Igor & I slept), then came back and drove around a bit to let us sleep.  At home, I slept some more in the recliner while the kids played on the Wii upstairs and Husband on the computer.  Then I read my newspaper, Husband brought us dinner from Thai Orchid, had pie for dessert, and then he put the kids to bed.  I'm on the computer now because it's a comfortable chair for my back.  He's watching a movie in the living room.  But I think I'm going to go study a bit before bed.  Bed early, I think, since we meet with some lawyers tomorrow to talk to them about Husband's arm. . . 

Of Death & Divorces

I have discovered that I must now be middle-aged.  I don't like it.  I'm only going to be 38 next month.  But middle-aged, it is.  Why?

I'll tell you why:  I have hit the part of my life where all my friends' parents are dying.  Where I know more people dying than being born.  My friends are not in the stage of life where they are buying first homes, getting married, having kids.  Nope.  They're buying second houses and selling the first, getting divorced, spending more time shuttling kids to and from their activities than to spend time with adults.  They're dealing with the issues of aging parents.  They're reaching mid-career struggles of trying to keep engaged in the work they once enjoyed.

I'm not sure I like this phase.

Dreams

I have found a new website, www.meyouhealth.com.  The site has a new "Daily Challenge" that is supposed to:

Do one small healthy action every day. Discover how rewarding it is to focus on your well-being.

Since that aligns with my plan to "recapture my life," I have signed up.  I haven't been consistent, but I've done some.  Examples of the ones I've completed  include:

• Tap your toes along to a favorite song
• Check your bed pillows for cushioning and firmness
• Wrap on a pair of sunglasses that block UV light
• Replace a sugary snack with fruit
• Make an emergency ID card

Today's is about Dreams:  Define your dream.  In particular, define the dream and then write it down and come up with steps to make it happen.  To me, dreams are long-term goals.  They gave examples like getting a new job, going to Italy, etc.  Mine are a little bigger, I think.  I want to be happy again.  I've been unhappy for a while and I think that's clearly reflected in my weight gain.  My mom has done that all my life:  yo-yo weight based on her happiness quotient.  Unfortunately, she passed it on.  I'd like to break the cycle.  I started working toward my goal, my "dream" if you will, with this blog.  Doing one small thing a day to move closer to making my house into a home.  I've now added the Daily Challenge piece.  But here is what I really want:

1. To travel to Paris.  My sister and I will be (hopefully) taking this trip next year.  My sister had made an agreement with my niece that if she brought her grades up by the time she was 16, she would take her to Paris.  I asked if I could join them.  Then my sister and I agreed we would go even if the niece didn't.  At this point, it looks like all three of us will be going.  To accomplish this goal, I need to (1) start saving money for the trip, (2) brush up on my French, and (3) get a passport.  Our plan is to go sometime after April next year.
2. To reclaim my life.  In short, go back to doing what I enjoy and feeling good about myself.  Things that are involved in this include:

• Getting our financial life in better order by preparing a budget and sticking to it.
• Eating at home more to save money and eat healthier
• Exercising a couple of times a week at a minimum.  May need to move the treadmill from the basement to the bonus room and get it fixed.
• Lose weight so I feel better and can do more - the previous two bullets should help.
• Journal / blog more often to help ease my stress.
• Less television, more action.  I want stories of MY life to tell, not vignettes from episodes of TV.  Life passing me by. . . 
• Spend more time with friends.  Invite them over more, not caring that the house is a mess.
• Clean the house more, including giving the kids chores to help.  They're old enough.  Igor has started making his bed on his own rather spontaneously.  Not great job at it yet, but it takes practice.
• Look for a more satisfying job.  I like my job, but I think I'm underutilized and that I'm ready for the next level.  It's not going to fall in my lap.  I need to go out and find it.
• Consider reconnecting to my spiritual side by going back to church.  I just haven't found one I like here yet.  Guess that means I have to start trying them again.

So, those are my goals/dreams for now.  We'll need to check back in a little while and see how I'm doing on these.

Where I've been. . .

Been away for a while.  Last weekend was spent in Cleveland bidding farewell to my great-aunt.  She was my grandmother's twin sister (grandma has been gone 20 years) and was 89.  I will miss her.  She is the one who taught me how to swim.  I wish I could keep house like she could!  She was married to my great uncle for more years than can be remembered and at 90 he is still as feisty as ever.

This week was spent working hard and dealing with sick kids.  Now I'm sick.  I also took Thursday & Friday of this week as vacation to spend with Igor before he goes back to school on Monday from "Spring Break."  Not sure why they call it spring break when it's been cold and there's been snow.  But it was a week off.

We spent Thursday going to breakfast at Scrambler Marie's, a visit to Petland, a visit to Trading Places (the furniture consignment shop), and the grocery store.  Kids got their first taste of Beanie Weenie (homemade, of course, with baked beans and hot dogs and brown sugar) and refused to try anymore.  So they had carrots for lunch.  After cleanup, they watched a little Animaniacs on DVD.  Then naps, followed by making bread in the bread maker, wrestling in the living room, more Animaniacs, and then cooking dinner.  Oh yeah, and Hannibal didn't nap, but broke his Winnie the Pooh bank instead and spent the naptime sorting coins on his floor.

Friday. . . well, Friday I felt awful and we had a slothful day.  We all slept in (I got up to change Husband's dressing and then went back to bed).  When Hannibal awoke, he used the potty and came into bed to cuddle with me.  Igor followed soon after.  We went downstairs and had Pop Tarts for breakfast.  They watched a Scooby Doo movie while sitting on me on the recliner (I slept some more - it was a really awful Scooby Doo movie!).  Then some Animaniacs.  Then Macaroni & Cheese with applesauce and orange juice for lunch.  Then nap time for the boys, shower for me.  Hannibal again didn't nap.  So he came down and watched TV with me (HGTV) while I purged the last box in the office.  Husband came home early and we all went to Best Buy to look at televisions.  Our 8+ year old television has a conversion board issue and needed replaced.  Bye Bye bonus check (which doesn't even come until April 11th!).  Then to a disappointing dinner at Macaroni Grill.  Home, kids to bed, stayed up and watched the Buckeyes lose in the Sweet 16.  Bummer.

Today, purchased a new TV.  This one will wall mount and be a lot flatter to the wall than the current one.  We just have to wait until Saturday for delivery.

And that's where I've been. . .

Desk

There is a furniture consignment shop next to our grocery store.  I love browsing this store.  There is a desk that I absolutely love.  They reduce the prices on the items at certain date intervals to try to move the product.  The last time I was in, the price on this desk was only $250.  I should have bought it, but we have been tight on cashflow these days, so I didn't.  I did tell the shop owners that I've gushed about it enough that my husband might buy it for me for my birthday coming up.

On Friday, I traveled up to Cleveland for my great-aunt's funeral (more on that later).  Husband tried to get to the store while I was gone and made it up Saturday morning.  Only to find out that the desk had been sold.  On Friday night.  When he had tried to get to the store, but wasn't able.  He was bummed.  Of course, now I find out that he never really liked it, but was going to buy it for me because I liked it.  I wanted it as a laptop desk in the "Library" (you know, the room with one bookcase and the grandfather clock).  See picture below:

Sunday, Husband took me back to the shop and showed me a circular desk with a leather top.  But it costs $500 and I really don't like it nearly as much.  This one had character.

I guess Husband had talked to his buddy and was going to leave it in his garage until my birthday in May.  What a sweet guy.  If only he'd gotten out of work early on Friday and made it in before some woman snatched it up!

Pet Peeves

Husband has told me that he really doesn't like to cook anymore because he doesn't like (1) having to share the space, (2) not having things where he wants them to be, and (3) not having space to work in.  So I am making efforts to keep the space clean.  I liked it so much better when he cooked for us.

We have a really nice kitchen.  As you know, I picked up a potato bin to move the potatoes and onions off the counter. One of the trouble spots is the kitchen island.  It has become the place where everyone dumps their stuff.  I'm also the only one who wipes down counters or tables in this house after we eat.  So, since I get busy, and the family often eats when I'm not around, the place is filthy.  I took an evening and I cleaned the island and all the counters.  There was nothing on them. They sparkled.

And then. . . Husband decided to fix the kids' toy box in the Living Room.  To do so, he emptied the toy box and put it up on the kitchen table, which I'd cleared.  Then he brought up his tools from the basement and set them on the island.  I thought, "This is ok.  It's temporary.  He'll put them away when he's done."  Nope.  The toy box was fixed last night.  The tools have overtaken the island and sit there.  So now, other family members have started putting things on the island.  That's one of my pet peeves for this evening.

My other pet peeve is recycling.  I don't mind recycling and doing my part for the environment.  Neither does the family.  Just today, I drove 6 paper bags full of my graduate school articles and paperwork to the recycling bin behind Igor's school (they get money for it).  What I do mind is that the family just puts their recyclables on the counter instead of walking the 10 extra steps to the garage to put them in one of the recycling bins.  Essentially, we give up an entire counter for recycling.  I hate that counter.  So I've started putting the recycling into the bins before bed each night.  I feel like Wendy cleaning up after the Lost Boys.  But I grumble when I do it.  But it's a new "system" and handles the mess caused by recycling building up on the counter.  I've asked them all repeatedly, but it hasn't worked.  So I create a new system.

On a positive note:

• We got rid of the 6 bags of paper recycling.  I now only have one more box to go through in the Office before I start "fine-tuning" my filing system.
• The running toilet was fixed in the Powder Room
• The kids' toy box was fixed and we purged toys from it.  I'm sending a box to my cousin next time someone travels between here and Cleveland.
• I loaded Quicken Deluxe 2011 to the computer and have started tracking bills that way.  This reduces some receipts and other bills that were cluttering up the place.  It also gives me an idea of where we've been spending our money.

I will warn you . . . I'm studying for this certification exam, so I may not be able to write as much.  But I am still working toward my goal:  one thing a day to move me in a positive direction.

Passive Aggressive Behavior

I am an HR professional specializing in Compensation for the last 11 years.  I have been given feedback that one of the barriers in advancing in my career is my specialization in compensation prevents me from being knowledgeable about the other areas of HR.  I feel this is ridiculous.  My degree is a Master's in Industrial/Organizational Psychology.  I studied those "other areas" of HR.  Oh well.

To compensate for this, I have signed up to take my SPHR exam during the Spring (May-June) timeframe.  I also signed up for a prep course through the local HR Association.  The class is from 6-10 pm on Wednesdays for 8 weeks.  I obtained approval through work and they're paying for both the exam and the course.  Tonight was the first course.

I had validated with Husband that it wouldn't be a problem if I took the course before I signed up.  He was verbally supportive.  Now the passive aggressive behavior begins.  When I call to say I'm on the way home, I ask if the kids were good for him.  "Mostly."  Ok, not bad.

I get home.  He is playing Call of Duty on the Xbox and wants to play a few more games.  I say that's fine and that I have to unwind, too.  I go to play a few rounds of Zuma Blitz.  That apparently knocks his internet connection on the Xbox off.  He says not to worry that I can play because I just got home and need to unwind.  He's been home alone (kids in bed around 8 - 8:30).  So I log in to Facebook and am catching up on status updates (i.e., reading them).

He comes into the office.  He starts talking to me about his conversation with an attorney today (I won't get into details, but something's wrong with how they fixed his arm with the surgery and we're exploring our options without wanting to be unnecessarily punitive).  Because I can no longer continue reading my status updates, I switch over to the mindless game so I can listen.  He blows up, "Fine.  Play your game.  We'll talk later."  I explain that I put it on specifically so I could listen.  I get a "Whatever."  He continues telling me what he has to tell me and then says, "I'll be upstairs in bed."

I swear.  Sometimes I think I'm married to Eyeore from the Winnie the Pooh stories.  He tells me it's ok, but then he punishes me for going by essentially blaming me for things that go wrong or picking a fight with me.  This is NOT what I wanted to come home to.  And apparently, it isn't ok that he has to have the kids on his own every Wednesday night for the next 8 weeks.  But I'm committed to this now. . . ugh.

Day of Rest? Not really.

Today, we went to the hardware store.  We bought hooks to hang the magazine file that I bought from The Container Store.  We ended up buying screws to fix the toy box in the living room and some Lilies of the Valley plants to plant around the patio.  We also bought a pack of picture hangers.  We had lunch at Steak N Shake.  Then we headed home.  Hannibal and I stayed home while Husband took Igor to his Little League Evaluation.  I'm hoping he did well enough to get into Coach Pitch.

While home, Hannibal wanted to play the Wii.  I told him he couldn't play until we cleaned up the Bonus Room.  If he got the room clean (he's the one who messes it up all the time) before Igor came home, he would get to play the Wii.  Well, he didn't get to play the Wii, but we did get the room mostly clean.  It was a mess.  Mega Blocks and train parts and stuffed animals and books strewn about the floor. 

Igor and Husband came home with a story.  Igor had been hit on the hand during batting practice.  Poor kid.  It scraped the hand and he was starting to swell.  I am proud that he didn't even cry, but kept batting after it happened.  We bandaged him up and put ice on it.  Then we watched Survivor on the DVR.  Then the Ohio State Men's Basketball game vs. Wisconsin, while reading my Sunday paper. 

After the game, we went to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner.  We came back, gave the kids their showers, put them to bed.  When we came down, Husband needed to do something on the computer, so I filed.  I was able to complete another box.  Only 3 more to go!  This box was hard.  I came across stuff pertaining to Igor's early hospitalization and follow-up.  Rough.  I also found his first footprints from the hospital.  Awww.

Husband continued to "play" on the computer - he actually bought me a few songs for my iPod and re-loaded my iPod with songs.  I can't complain.  So I began to tackle Box 1 of the Graduate School bundle.  Most is going to paper recycling.  But I did go down memory lane for a bit.  I might keep some of my take-home exams and papers.  But all the other stuff is likely going in the trash.  Since I was in a rhythm, Husband finished and hung my magazine file with the kids' coloring books (see pic below).  He also hung my bulletin board.  A little higher than I wanted, but at least it's on the wall instead of leaning against it.

Now, he's playing a quick game on the Xbox 360 while I blog and then play a round (or two) of Zuma Blitz before bed.

Shopping

Today is the first Saturday of the month, so Iago took Igor out to lunch (on our dime) and spent time with him afterwards.  That meant Hannibal, Husband, & I went out to lunch for Chinese.  Afterwards, since my girlfriend wasn't able to go out and play (boo hoo), I went out shopping without kids while Husband stayed home and played with Hannibal.

I shopped with a purpose.  I went to two stores:  Joann and Staples.  At Joann, without any kids, I was able to browse.  My intent was to buy the cupcake decorating kit that comes with the 4 tips I require for my cupcake decorating.  I also bought: 

• two beautiful wooden candleholders (see pic below)
• 6 cute speckled egg candles (also in pic below)
• a set of "Lunchbox Love" notes to insert into Igor's lunchbox when we pack his lunch (saves me having to write him a new one each time!)
• Shamrock cupcake liners for the cupcakes for the potluck at work later this month, and
• a 12 cup cupcake pan. 
• 

I then headed to Staples.  Where I bought:

• a new shredder (our old one jammed and we could never fix it
• Quicken Deluxe 2011 (I've been lost since my Microsoft Money expired)
• 2 4GB USB Flash Drives (1 for my digital photo frame and 1 to handle documents transported to and from work)
• small and large paper clips
• a set of 6" x 9" catalog envelopes (so I can send consolidated mail to the former owner)
• 2 more boxes of legal size hanging folders in assorted colors
• Avery file folder labels

Then I grabbed a Sweet Tea from McDonald's, stopped at CVS to pick up something that Husband forgot at the grocery store, and headed home.  Where I unpacked and put it all away.  A successful trip.

Nostalgia

Went through another box in the Office last night and continued to do "gross filing" as I'm calling it.  What this means is that I'm separating out the stuff in the boxes into large categories.  I'll winnow these down into smaller files once I have an idea of what smaller categories I need.  I have 1 1/2 drawers filled and 4 boxes to go.  Three of those boxes, it turns out, are graduate school file boxes which I think I'll be pitching most of the contents.

However, I now know why I have been putting this off.  Nostalgia.  Going through these boxes brings back all sorts of memories as I come across items such as:

• Notes from middle & high school from my first boyfriend who remains a friend.
• Letters from my brother's best friend who I dated off & on for several years in high school & college
• Letters from my pen pal throughout middle school and high school (after losing touch, we have found each other again on Facebook)
• Sympathy cards from when my grandfather died
• My father's honorable discharge papers from the Air Force
• Paperwork on my Factor V Leiden diagnosis, surrounded by the paperwork from when Igor was in his first year and we had to go to all these doctors appointments because of his seizures
• My youth director's funeral program
• the "Christian Performer's Manual" that my sister and I put together during our time with Cleveland Praise Ministry, a clown/puppetry/mime/sign language group
• all the farewell cards from when I left jobs (I move around a lot)
• Igor's first soccer pictures
• Igor's preschool papers / pictures
• Hannibal's emergency room paperwork from when his older brother cut his finger with scissors the night before Hannibal's first birthday

I understand why people hoard paper.  It's hard to let go these memories.  And, for the most part, I haven't yet.  I did trash some things, but others are still filed as I determine what to do.  However, a file cabinet should not become a "paper graveyard" as my organizing book tells me.  I'll continue to complete the gross filing and then fine tune my system.  As I do that, more of this might go away.  The trip through memory lane was bittersweet, though.

Another Box Gone

Husband was working late tonight.  I came home and ordered pizza and salad for dinner.  Then, I brought the kids into the office.  Hannibal was put in the "kids' space" with a puzzle.  Igor was happy to play Farkle on my Facebook pages.  And I, well, I began to empty a box.

Now that I have the file cabinet, I have 6 boxes whose contents need to be reviewed and either filed or disposed of.  Two of the boxes are from graduate school and haven't been touched in years.  I anticipate tossing most of the contents.  If I need any of it, I can find it online or from a library, I suppose.  Just because someone reached out to me regarding my thesis recently doesn't mean I need to hold on to everything.

The remaining boxes represent (1) what came out of the two drawer file cabinet I disposed of via Freecycle or (2) boxes of paperwork from the desk at the old house that we just threw into boxes to make the house look presentable while we were trying to sell it.

Today, using a technique from the organizing book I'm reading, I just spent time on one box separating it into major categories and tossing anything I was sure I ddn't need to keep.  I did take a break midway through the process to put the kids to bed and then I went back to it.

Gone are the Christmas cards from friends/family from 2008 (sorry, but I just don't see why we should keep these. . . I love your kids, but I don't need the paper).  Gone are some things from Igor's preschool days.  Gone are the pay stubs from 2008 (I have the W-2 that shows the earnings, so I don't need the individual stubs).  Gone is the dried PlayDoh from the homemade frame that Igor made that fell apart.  I know have broad category files of:

• Igor memories & records
• Hannibal memories & records
• Judith memories & records
• Benefits - Explanations of Benefits (I'll log these and then toss)
• Product Ownership / Manuals
• Bank Statements
• Mom's Trust Fund stuff
• Financial Paperwork (401k statements, college fund stuff, insurance, etc.)
• Work stuff (resumes, current benefits plans, bonus letters, etc.)
• Weight Watchers stuff
• Recipes

That's it.  I'll refine the categories and toss more as I go through it.  This was just a first pass.  But I disposed of one box.  However, it wasn't without emotions.  I did come across a Father's Day card for Ralph, my youth director, which I never sent before he died.  I miss him and he's been gone since shortly after Hannibal was born.  I still remember getting the call from his wife while nursing Hannibal.  Ah, memories.  I hold them dear, but I don't need to hold the paper.

Systems

So I'm reading this book on organizing by this woman who calls herself the "Zen Organizer" (One Year to an Organized Life by Regina Leeds).  I'm not sure I buy into all of it, but one thing that has stuck with me for the last couple of days is her comments regarding systems. 

Essentially, it boils down to this:  we all have systems.  Whether our system involves taking off our clothes and throwing them on the floor or throwing them into a hamper, they're systems.  They're routines.  What we have to do is replace the systems that are not working with the systems that do work.  As in, slowly retrain ourselves so that our natural system is no longer throwing the clothes on the floor, but putting them into the hamper.  Or, in a case familiar to this house, not leaving the toilet paper roll empty but replacing it right away.  (Yes, this did happen to me.  At least, though, I wasn't the one who was peed on this time. . . Husband is the one who stood in the stream of the middle of the night potty training boy.  I've learned to stand to the side!)

Similar to what you hear about how to change your eating habits, she recommends small, incremental changes that are livable.  In the book, she provides examples about how to implement various systems and strategies but also how you need to adapt them to your lifestyle.  I find, in many of the cases, I previously had many of these systems and this is what prevented me from turning hoarder.  However, with Husband and children and brothers-in-law, I have slowly lost touch with many of my systems because they are no longer workable.  I am still not a Hoarder.  But it is much harder these days to fight entropy.

Don't get me wrong. . . my systems weren't GREAT, but they were livable.  I still remember the date in college where I had been studying so much for an exam that I didn't have time to clean my room and while I wanted nothing more than to invite the date back to my room, I couldn't because of the embarrassment of what my room looked like.  Back then, my system was to throw everything where it landed and then a flurry to pick up when I had to.  I slowly grew into new systems that were more orderly.

So, much like I need to work on getting my diet and my exercise back on track, start enjoying the things I enjoyed doing before (cross-stitch, reading novels not magazines, going to the beach, etc), I need to work at developing those systems that helped me create order out of chaos.  I'm calling it reclaiming my life, one step at a time.  My project is just one aspect of this.  I also need to work on those other pieces, just one little step/habit at a time.

For example, I have started going through the mail immediately and either handling it or putting it in an organized manner.  But I'm trying to get rid of the paper mess before it grows.  (This is made more difficult by the mounds of paperwork Igor brings home from school each day, but we just put most of that in our paper recycling.  Unless it's really cute artwork and then it spends time at my work cubicle first.)  I have also started lunch each day with soup.  By the time I finish it and move on to the rest, I'm mostly full and throw most of the lunch away. . . it's a start.  And that's what this is all about, after all, reclaiming my life.

Little Things

I started this "experiment" where I would do something every day to move the house forward and make it more of a home.  I had hoped I would have time to write about it, too.  But that seems to have been too lofty a goal.  However, know that I am still doing these little things.

Some of the things we have done (and I say "we" because Husband has been doing some things as well):

• Replaced the light switches in the Master Bathroom because they had a short in them.
• Searched (and found easily, actually) my undergraduate senior comp to help an undergrad at a school in Minnesota for research she is doing
• read and recycled 2 magazines; recycled several magazines I'll never buy stuff from
• found a tote for Hannibal's outgrown clothes, cleared a space in his closet for it, and deposited a whole bunch of clothes straight from the laundry into the tote.  These are usually sent to my cousn for her son who is about a year younger than Hannibal.
• began sorting through paperwork to place into the file cabinet
• read the chapters in the organizing book related to the Office and realizing I'm just not that bad at organizing, I just need to get back into the rhythm
• logged some of the Explanation of Benefits (EOB's) from the past year in the computer and shredded the paper copies.  I'm still trying to see how expensive the last year was.
• sewed buttons back on my snowmen plush that's in front of the fireplace
• bought another houseplant
• put up new hooks for the boys' coats & Igor's backpack

Little things, but still progress.  I had meant to clean the pantry and the bathrooms this weekend, but that didn't happen.  I am still sick, but getting over it.  And, well, I'll be honest, the news about Husband's arm (which I haven't shared) still has me somewhat depressed.  I had a light at the end of the tunnel and it's gone.  We'll work through it.  But it's been a hard couple of weeks.  Work has been stressful, home has been stressful, and I've been sick.  I also start a class in a couple of weeks - 4 hours every Wednesday night after work for 8 weeks.  But I'll continue to move forward.  It's all we can do.

Potato Bin

Here is a picture of the potato bin I picked up from someone based on a Craigslist posting.  I paid $30.  I have used the same vinegar/water rinse and then lemon oil treatment on it.  Luckily, this one didn't come from a smoking home (though they did have a dog).  It is a little banged up, but looks nice and will do the job.  Which is to say, it will remove the potatoes and onions and bread from our counter space and give us a little more room for working on the counters in the kitchen. 

So my accomplishment today was to complete cleaning it so it was ready to use, while Husband took the kids and brought back Starbucks for brunch.  Now we're grabbing showers and going to take the kids to get haircuts.  Unknown to them, we'll peek at the pet store next door, too.  No buying.  We get our pets from shelters.  But we want to remind the youngest of his potty training goal.  Plus, I want to start figuring out how much the future addition to the family is going to cost on an ongoing basis so we can start to budget.

File cabinet moved into place

Today, I woke up sick.  My throat hurts and my nose is running and I am on day three of a migraine.  Still, I came downstairs and found Husband cleaning a poopy three year old and the elder child playing Xbox.  I proceeded to do some chores:

• put away the dishes in the dishwasher
• loaded the dishes that had accumulated on the counter throughout the week into the dishwasher and ran it
• moved my remaining Valentine's Day flowers into a smaller vase, threw away the box they came in, and emptied the pretty clear glass bowl they came in
• emptied the kitchen trash, taking it and the recyclables to the garage

Then, I admit, I needed to sit down.  So I played a little Zuma Blitz.  Husband came in a little bit later.  He had already told me he needed to stay close to home this weekend because of what is going on at work.  So we decide to take showers, go to lunch and go to the grocery store.

We ate at Thai Taste and I had a wonderful red peanut curry dish.  Afterwards, Husband took the kids next door to the Pepperidge Farm Outlet while I went over and checked out the American Cancer Society Donation store.  They had this really pretty old wooden baker's rack that was gorgeous, but (1) I don't have $325 right now and (2) we don't really have anywhere it would go in the house.  Then we went to nearby Penzey's spice shop.  Husband went in to buy the chili powder while the kids and I ate a cookie apiece in the van.

Next, the grocery store.  But we popped into Trading Places to see the new inventory.  They had a beautiful brown leather loveseat and ottoman.  But again, no money and we thought that maybe when we get a cat that it might not be wise to have leather furniture. . . So, off to the grocery it was.  We picked up fixings for Chili for tonight, grilled cheese and tomato soup for tomorrow, and a chicken to roast for tomorrow.  The kids were, as usual, abominable.  Once home, we put them down for naps.

A little Zuma Blitz and, when I ran out of hearts, it was time to use the furniture polish I picked up on the file cabinet.  Once that was done, I eased it into place between our corner desk and Vincent's mom's desk (it serves as a place to hold our peripherals like the digital photo printer).  I moved the scanner on top, as well as a 3 wick candle, put the hanging folders and file folders we picked up earlier this week inside and then I tidied the corner desk a bit.  Then a picture:

For $80 and a lot of cleaning, I think it will be worth it in the long run.  I still have boxes in the office that I'll need to go through and file away (I think I need a LOT more hanging files and folders).  But it's a start.  I still feel terrible.  But I need to go work on the potato bin yet today. . . or maybe tomorrow.  I'm tired.

Still working on project, but too busy to post

It's peak season for me at work and the last couple of weeks have been pretty rough.  I'm nearing the end and can see the light at the end of the tunnel (and am pretty sure it's not a train).  Most of my days have been going to work, working 12-16 hour days, and then coming home just in time (if I'm lucky) to put the kids to bed, grabbing a bite to eat, maybe watching a sitcom, and then going to bed myself.  The the process starts all over again.  It's not pleasant, but I know it's a brief period out of the year and necessary for the work that I do.

However, I have not abandoned my project.  Last weekend, we picked up a potato bin from Craigslist.  I still need to clean it and it's waiting in the garage.  However, it comes from a non-smoking home so I will have less trouble than with the file cabinet.

Speaking of the file cabinet, the secret seemed to be a vinegar and water wash.  I had tried Murphy's Oil Orange Soap.  Then Old English Lemon Oil.  After letting the room air out, the cabinet still smelled like smoke.  I referred to an article from eHow (How to Remove Cigarette Smell from Wood) and went at the cabinet again.  I filled a water bottle with dish soap and water, sprayed down the cabinet, and wiped it down.  Next, I mixed vinegar with water and sponged down the file cabinet.  In the meantime, I filled each drawer with an entire box of baking soda.  A week later, I did the dish soap/water spray, followed by the vinegar/water wash.  I vacuumed out the drawers and washed them with the vinegar/water wash.

Husband could still smell smoke in one of the crevices along the top of the file cabinet.  So I took an old toothbrush and cleaned inside with the vinegar/water combination.  I used the rags I created earlier this week from a ripped sheet, using Murphy's Oil Orange Soap spray and then Old English.  The smell is still there if you get close to the crevices, but is mostly dissipated.  Next up:  We're taking the kids to the movies today and we'll probably stop and pick up some furniture polish.  The wood is feeling really dry right now - combination of the vinegar and the cold temperature/dry heat. 

I've also been reading up on a gardening book I bought.  I'd like to put in some flowers and update my pond (since most of it died along with the fish).  I'm also considering putting in peppers in the front flower bed (hopefully that's not against our HOA).   Another book I purchased while ordering Vincent's Valentine's present:  One Year to an Organized Life.  I've read a chapter or so and what I've learned is that I need to assign my kids chores and start making them do them.

Junk Drawer

I am addicted to this game on Facebook called Zuma Blitz.  When you run out of "hearts" or lives, you can buy more (which I refuse to do) or you can wait until they regenerate.  While waiting, I either surf Craigslist, Freecycle, Amazon.com, updating this blog, or I force myself to do tidying around the house.  Today being Sunday, and chore day, I do things around the house.  Today, I tackled the Kitchen Junk Drawer.

Referring back to my earlier post where I said I didn't have much art supply stuff, I was wrong. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?   Yesterday, we bought 3 small totes at Lowe's for under $3. I planned on using one of the totes for the kids' crayons which have gotten out of control in the drawer in the kitchen. Well, I ended up using all three totes and then some.

One tote went to Crayons.  It is now full.  One tote went to Markers; it still has room.  One tote went to Batteries; it is full.  All of these went to the office.  Markers & Crayons on the kids' table.  Batteries on the desk.

I filled a pencil box with, well, pencils.  I filled another pencil box with Dry Erase Markers.  Now, the Junk Drawer looks mostly empty - a few screwdrivers, a measuring tape, charging cords for cell phones, and loose pens.  Not bad for about 15 minutes worth of work.  I think I need more totes, though.

Clutter-Free: Day 3

Even with the long day yesterday, I still found time to do my "one thing":  With the help of Igor, I went through and separated all the magazines on the floor under my nightstand into two piles and brought the recycling pile downstairs.  I also pulled the pile of magazine clippings and put into the file folder downstairs.  I can now see the top of my nightstand.  Yippee!

Today's hint from the Family Circle article is:

Pull cleaning supplies from under the kitchen sink and create space for them in the room they're used in, suggests Vozza.  Move shower and toilet cleaners to a bathroom cabinet, the stain stick to a shelf in the laundry room and wood polish to a dining room cupboard.  The benefits are twofold:  You'll have more room in your kitchen cabinet, and cleaning products will be close at hand.

This is a stupid idea if you have small children.  First, our cleaning products aren't in the kitchen cabinet.  They are in a cabinet above the dryer in the laundry room.  Keeping them in the kitchen cabinet would mean they would be accessible to the three year old.  This means my stain stick is already there.  Shower cleaners are upstairs in the top shelf of the linen closet.  This is located in the middle of where both bathrooms with showers are, though used more often by Iago than us.  I have sponges in our bedroom closet off the master bath to use when wiping things down in the closet.  In the bathrooms, they each have a toilet brush with the refills full of cleaner - less likely for the kid to drink them. 

Personally, I like the central location.  That way, the men of the house can find them.  Or so I thought.  But the night I wasn't home because I was at a Board dinner and Hannibal decorated his bedroom walls with feces, my husband could only find toilet bowl (blue, I might add) to use to clean it off the cream walls.  He could text me to tell me it was a bad night, but couldn't text me to ask where the cleaning products were.  Now, we have a slightly blue tinge to Hannibal's cream walls.  I'll paint his room eventually.  We just need to get a better idea of what he likes before we decorate.

Shopping while Potty Training

Yesterday, we finally got moving and left the house to to out to lunch around 1:30 pm.  We didn't get home until around 7 pm.  Why?  We started with lunch at Rooster's (Hannibal's pick).  That is a 1/2 hour drive each way.  He only had to try to use the bathroom about 4 times while we were there.  Igor had to poop while there - which is another 1/2 hour.

Then we went to Target with the objective of picking up Despicable Me on Blu-Ray for movie night and some legal size hanging folders for the new file cabinet.  No luck on the file folders.  While there, we picked up some gloves for the kids, a chore chart for the Dining Room (which might get re-labeled, "Activity Room" once it's decorated as such), toothpaste, and some more hand towels for the downstairs bathroom.  We still didn't spend our usual $100, but they let us leave anyway.

After Target, we went next door to Lowe's.  Hannibal kept asking (loudly), "Are we at Home Depot?"  We needed to pick up some trim for the garage to replace the piece that Husband knocked off when he exited the 3rd bay.  While there, we picked up some inserts for our paint trim cup and our roller pan, a squeegee for the bathroom, and a book on gardening for me that shows what to do month-by-month in Ohio.  Hannibal only had to "try" to go to the bathroom twice at Lowe's.

After Lowe's, we were headed home.  The children have not been well-behaved.  We then go to the grocery store to pick up food for dinner and the next day.  Hannibal has to go to the bathroom 3 times while we're there.  (You do realize that, of all these times we've taken him to the bathroom so far, he's only actually gone twice, right?  He doesn't have some sort of bladder problem.)  On one of the occasions, we walked in on someone in a "on-er" who hadn't locked the door.  Luckily, she was washing her hands at the time! 

We picked up sausages and buns for dinner.  Doughnuts (Husband's idea while I was in the bathroom with Hannibal) for breakfast.  Husband is trying to make a crab Alfredo tonight with the crab meat I found on sale.  By the time we got home, it was 7:00 (half an hour until bedtime) and the kids had lost the movie night privilege due to their poor behavior.  We had dinner, we put them to bed, then Husband and I had our own movie night and watched Inception.  Then we went to bed.  Long day.

Family Pizza Night

Tonight was Family Pizza Night at Igor's school.  For anyone without kids, this would be pure, unadulterated hell.  For those of us with kids, there aren't enough cute moments to make it little more than tolerable.  Family Pizza Night is a fundraiser by the PTO.  It includes the following (all for purchase):

• Pizza
• Water Bottles
• Drumstick ice cream (new this year)
• Kid's cake walk (2 raffle tickets - limited to kids only this year which made the lines much more tolerable)
• Stuff & Fluff (you had to pre-order these stuffed animal skins that you then stuff yourself standing next to a too small table; Igor has a floppy-eared puppy and Hannibal has a tabby kitten)
• Lollipop pull - if your lollipop is marked on the bottom, you win a grab bag full of useless choking hazards
• Balloon animal artist (new this year) - including minimum half hour wait to get a balloon sword and scabbard that your boys will then fight with  (Hannibal opted for an elephant)
• Raffle tickets for baskets designed by the teachers, such as a scrapbooking basket, an Ohio State basket, Pet basket, book basket, toy basket, etc.  (Igor only wanted to put the raffle tickets into the "money tree" basket which was nothing more than $40.)
• Bingo in the library
• karaoke somewhere (thank goodness we didn't have interest in that!)
• tables where you can spend your tickets on face painting, fingernail painting, making a card for Ronald McDonald house, temporary tattoos, etc.  (we skipped all of these.  whew.)
• a whole lot of kids running around unattended

Yes, we went.  I even left work early so I could go.  Last year, I had to go by myself with Igor because Husband had broken his arm just a week or two prior.  It was more tolerable this time with Hannibal and Husband there.  Hannibal dribbled chocolate down his face from the Drumstick.  Igor taught him how to do the Cake Walk and we watched in amusement as Hannibal insisted on stepping on each number.

But the best moments were watching Igor grow into a social animal.  My boy is trying to be social, but is still somewhat shy.  He wanted to go say hello to "Ethan" (one of the kids in his class) and he wanted to go by himself.  I think people thought there was something wrong with my kid.  He went over about 4 times, got within 20 feet of the table where Ethan was sitting and would say, quietly, "Hey, Ethan."  Ethan, amid the din emanating in the gymnasium from all the booths and running and screaming, didn't hear him.  So Igor would come back sad that Ethan didn't say "hi" back.  This same exercise was repeated with several members of Igor's friend base.  Though, I will admit, he got much closer to the girls and they acknowledged his presence much faster.  My boy is a ladies man.  Oh my.

We ran into a college friend of Husband's - not unexpected, they live two streets over.  Husband says, "I don't think he needs help, he's already better at it than I am."  I'm glad my boys take after the social side of me.

Clutter-Free: Day 2

The second suggestion from the article is:

Sort craft supplies into piles of like items - glue and tape together, ribbons and bows - then stash it all in clear plastic bins, says Stephanie Vozza, author of Five Minute Mom's Club (Franklin Green).  Stack bins, whether on the top shelf of a linen closet or on an office bookcase.  The next time you need a pair of scissors, you'll be able to locate them in seconds.  If your boxes aren't clear, label them.

Well, if I had craft supplies, I might do this.  But, I don't think I have a lot of "craft supplies."  What I do have is decently organized.  My cross-stitch is housed in two Longaberger baskets that I obtained while I worked for the corporate office (yes, I worked in the big basket building for about four years).  My cake decorating and candy making supplies are housed in totes stored in the "Library."  One for candy molds, one for cake pans, one for fondant supplies, one for icing supplies, etc. 

As for the scissors, we have one in the knife block in the kitchen and one in the pen basket on the desk.  Tape is stored either (1) with the Christmas wrap in the basement OR (2) in the top drawer of the desk.  So, I think we're pretty set here.  Oh, and the kids art supplies (glue, construction paper, markers) are stored in a bin under their table in the Office.  I suppose this means I do have more craft supplies than I thought. . . but I also know where they are and think they are organized pretty well.