Yesterday, I tried Day One of the Biggest Loser JumpStart program. With a few modifications. For example, I couldn't find jicama at my grocery store. Also, the calorie count is lower in their menu than what is recommended for safe weight loss for my weight, so I added a few additional calories.
The breakfast was so large. You are supposed to eat a large breakfast to fuel your body, but my normal breakfast is a bowl of Fiber One Carmel Delight cereal. This was a breakfast sandwich (egg white, cheese, English muffin, Canadian bacon), milk, and almost a cup of blueberries. I ate while getting the kids their breakfast (blueberries, yogurt & English muffin with a smidge of cream cheese). I also packed my lunch. I don't know if it was the fact that I don't like plain blueberries OR that the breakfast was so large, but as I tried to finish the blueberries before I left, I had a small gag reflex.
Morning snack and lunch were fine. I added a Green Giant Broccoli Single Serve to the lunch. Afternoon snack was fine. Then problems struck. I was stuck at work for another 12 hour day again. And I didn't have dinner. So I hit the "snack station" that's one cubicle away outside my VP's office. I had some popcorn and, yes, two of the mini-cinnamon rolls.
When I finally wrapped up at 8 p.m. and headed for home, though, I did NOT stop to get a fast food dinner. That's my success. I came home and made soup instead. I'm proud of that. And I'll focus on it. Because today, I'm stressed and having my normal breakfast. I'll pack my lunch and snacks. But today's plan calls for sushi for lunch and that's not happening. Oh, and yesterday - I fit almost all of it in with my Weight Watchers points for the day even though I didn't follow the plan completely. (Yes, I'm mixing programs to see what works for me. I liked Weight Watchers, but needed some help with planning meals and that's where the Biggest Loser stuff comes in.)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday night chores
I think all my blog posts should start, "I'm so tired." After all, that's the way I feel all the time. Maybe it's because I weigh almost 300 pounds??? How did I get here? Ah, well, not going to dwell. Today was a busy day:
Writing this all down has helped me get over how irritated I was that Husband didn't help me unpack and put away the groceries. He did swap my loads of laundry and gather the trash for me to take to the curb (I'll ignore the fact that his gathering only includes the kitchen trash and excludes all the other little trash cans around the house). I accomplished a lot tonight. Tomorrow? Work long hours, cook dinner, and go pick up our "new" patio furniture from the co-worker I bought it from once the kids go to sleep.
- Kidney stone follow-up with the urologist. I've been told that most of the stones are gone, but that I still have calcification and so they recommend a yearly follow-up. I can handle that. Anything that doesn't involve a scoping is fine by me. Don't want to go through that again!
- Work until 6 p.m. We have a lot to do and I don't know how I'll get it all done. Lunch at my desk - grilled cheese and tomato soup with a Pepsi. Followed by peanut butter crackers. Not healthy, I know, but available.
- Call mom and talk during the drive home from work.
- Come home, scarf down KFC that Husband brought home for dinner. Not helping the weight issue.
- Help get the kids showered, clothes for tomorrow picked up, laundry folded and put away, and gathered a load of my own.
- Went grocery shopping. Who shops at 8:30 p.m. on a Monday night? You'd be surprised. Bought lots of produce, planning on following the Biggest Loser Jump-Start program. . . with modifications. Don't know when I'll have time to prep what I'm supposed to have for breakfast, lunch and snacks tomorrow. But we'll see what I can get done in the morning with the kids.
- Filled the minivan with free gas from spending huge amounts of money on groceries.
- Got home, unloaded car, put groceries away while Husband finished folding laundry and iced his shoulder. What? No help? Seriously? I'm exhausted.
- Took trash and recycling out to the curb.
- Checked Facebook and updated the blog.
Writing this all down has helped me get over how irritated I was that Husband didn't help me unpack and put away the groceries. He did swap my loads of laundry and gather the trash for me to take to the curb (I'll ignore the fact that his gathering only includes the kitchen trash and excludes all the other little trash cans around the house). I accomplished a lot tonight. Tomorrow? Work long hours, cook dinner, and go pick up our "new" patio furniture from the co-worker I bought it from once the kids go to sleep.
294 lbs.
I'm going in the wrong direction!!! Of course, I didn't really try very hard this week. I noted yesterday that the only vegetable my kids ate was french fries. Apparently, I'm that mom. Well, we need to stop. I made a grocery list yesterday and we were going to go after dinner, but things went horribly wrong at dinner and we just came home and put the kids to bed instead. We'll send one of us (Husband or I) to the store tonight after the kids are in bed. Probably me, as I need to pick up toys for the kids Easter baskets. We only do one basket for the family with candy and then I'll do separate baskets for the kids to "find" that have just toys in them. This limits the amount of candy in the house. Then there will be the Easter Egg Hunt at my brother's for my niece's birthday party. . . well, we can't account for how much the kids will bring home then. Last year, I threw it all out because it was all hard candy that's a choking hazard for the kids. Well, time to go wake the kids.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dinner with BIL
Husband and I took two days off work to coincide with Igor's Spring Break at school. It doesn't feel particularly spring-like as the sleet and snow rains down on us right now, but Spring Break it is. Today, our plans included servicing the minivan, shoe shopping, Husband's physical therapy appointment, and dinner with BIL. BIL is my brother-in-law that doesn't live with us. He hasn't been over since Christmas Eve. I think you remember how THAT went. If not, look at my earlier posts.
Unfortunately, BIL's car isn't working well enough to be driven on the highway (I don't know what that means or what's wrong with it, but that's the explanation I was given!). So, poor Husband had to drive to the southern end of town after physical therapy to pick up BIL and bring him to our home for dinner. Husband and Igor are driving him home in the sleet and snow right now.
Husband brought home City BBQ for dinner. I made strawberry cake with cream cheese icing for dessert. Iago even joined us all for dinner. Dinner conversation was non-existent. Iago maintained his habit of completing his meal, getting up, washing his dishes, and excusing himself to his room. We all retired to the living room.
Several times I attempt to engage BIL in conversation only for him to ignore me. Husband talks to him about a job at the bar Husband's friend opened. BIL shows no interest because it would conflict with his current job. Igor takes BIL upstairs to see his new Star Wars room. Husband and I argue because I was acting like a shrew by pointing out that BIL is being rude in not acknowledging me when I speak and because I hurt Husband's feelings when I made the comment that his brother has no ambition. Well, he doesn't.
What irked me most is the lengths he goes to protect his brothers. I get so frustrated because I can't say a negative word about either of his brothers without him jumping to their defense. For example, I asked BIL how was work directly and he continued to watch the basketball game on the big screen instead of acknowledging that I had asked him a question. Husband defends this by saying that BIL had been distracted by the basketball game and the kids. So I shouldn't expect a dinner guest to engage his hostess in conversation. Really? Needless to say, Husband and I will continue to argue this point. I've started realizing that Husband will always defend his brothers more than he defends his wife. Mostly because he thinks they need it more - that I am fully capable of defending myself. I guess that's fair. But it really sucks to know you play second fiddle to your husband's brothers. I know he loves me. But he feels responsible for them.
Unfortunately, BIL's car isn't working well enough to be driven on the highway (I don't know what that means or what's wrong with it, but that's the explanation I was given!). So, poor Husband had to drive to the southern end of town after physical therapy to pick up BIL and bring him to our home for dinner. Husband and Igor are driving him home in the sleet and snow right now.
Husband brought home City BBQ for dinner. I made strawberry cake with cream cheese icing for dessert. Iago even joined us all for dinner. Dinner conversation was non-existent. Iago maintained his habit of completing his meal, getting up, washing his dishes, and excusing himself to his room. We all retired to the living room.
Several times I attempt to engage BIL in conversation only for him to ignore me. Husband talks to him about a job at the bar Husband's friend opened. BIL shows no interest because it would conflict with his current job. Igor takes BIL upstairs to see his new Star Wars room. Husband and I argue because I was acting like a shrew by pointing out that BIL is being rude in not acknowledging me when I speak and because I hurt Husband's feelings when I made the comment that his brother has no ambition. Well, he doesn't.
What irked me most is the lengths he goes to protect his brothers. I get so frustrated because I can't say a negative word about either of his brothers without him jumping to their defense. For example, I asked BIL how was work directly and he continued to watch the basketball game on the big screen instead of acknowledging that I had asked him a question. Husband defends this by saying that BIL had been distracted by the basketball game and the kids. So I shouldn't expect a dinner guest to engage his hostess in conversation. Really? Needless to say, Husband and I will continue to argue this point. I've started realizing that Husband will always defend his brothers more than he defends his wife. Mostly because he thinks they need it more - that I am fully capable of defending myself. I guess that's fair. But it really sucks to know you play second fiddle to your husband's brothers. I know he loves me. But he feels responsible for them.
Homecoming after Working Late
First quarter is typically my busiest time of year at work. This year has been particularly challenging and some of the things I would normally have done by now have been delayed beyond my control. This has been challenging because I had planned two days off (today & tomorrow) based on my original schedule. I am still able to enjoy my vacation, though, because I stayed really late yesterday to complete what needed to be done before I left (two days later than the original schedule, but still within acceptable parameters).
In order to accomplish this task, I arrived at work at 7:30 a.m. yesterday (left home at 7:00) and stayed until almost 8:00 p.m. (getting home around 8:30), while working through lunch. It was a long day and I was extremely tired. Around 7:00 p.m., Husband called to ask if he should put the kids to bed. I said, "Yes." He then asked how long I would be and I thought it would be another half hour. He decided to keep the kids up until I got home so I could see them.
I finish up at work, hit McDonald's on my way home for a quick bite that I scarf down in the car on the way home, and hurry to get home to help put the kids to bed. When I get home, I'm greeted by Hannibal, the 2 year old. He runs up to me and hugs me and say, "I missed you, mommy." My heart melts.
Then everything went downhill. Apparently, the kids had been poorly behaved all night. Igor stole the books that Hannibal was playing with and moved them. Hannibal flopped to the floor and threw a complete temper tantrum, including hauling off and hitting his older brother. That sent him upstairs for bed. We then struggled through the nighttime ritual of tooth brushing, getting into pajamas, and stories/songs. Husband snapped at the kids, the kids willfully disobeyed. And my headache intensified.
By the time we were done putting them to bed, I was angry at Husband. After all, the kids were ill-behaved because they were up later than they should have been. He should have just put them to sleep. I understand that he wanted to let me see them because I do stress this time of year that I never see my kids. BUT I was going to be spending the next two days with them. . . so I would have been fine. Of course, we "discussed" our points of view in the annoyingly rational, adult way that we have and we're both ok now. I see he was trying to be nice and the kids had been bad all night. He sees that I was tired and just wanted to relax. But it was still a rather awful night.
In order to accomplish this task, I arrived at work at 7:30 a.m. yesterday (left home at 7:00) and stayed until almost 8:00 p.m. (getting home around 8:30), while working through lunch. It was a long day and I was extremely tired. Around 7:00 p.m., Husband called to ask if he should put the kids to bed. I said, "Yes." He then asked how long I would be and I thought it would be another half hour. He decided to keep the kids up until I got home so I could see them.
I finish up at work, hit McDonald's on my way home for a quick bite that I scarf down in the car on the way home, and hurry to get home to help put the kids to bed. When I get home, I'm greeted by Hannibal, the 2 year old. He runs up to me and hugs me and say, "I missed you, mommy." My heart melts.
Then everything went downhill. Apparently, the kids had been poorly behaved all night. Igor stole the books that Hannibal was playing with and moved them. Hannibal flopped to the floor and threw a complete temper tantrum, including hauling off and hitting his older brother. That sent him upstairs for bed. We then struggled through the nighttime ritual of tooth brushing, getting into pajamas, and stories/songs. Husband snapped at the kids, the kids willfully disobeyed. And my headache intensified.
By the time we were done putting them to bed, I was angry at Husband. After all, the kids were ill-behaved because they were up later than they should have been. He should have just put them to sleep. I understand that he wanted to let me see them because I do stress this time of year that I never see my kids. BUT I was going to be spending the next two days with them. . . so I would have been fine. Of course, we "discussed" our points of view in the annoyingly rational, adult way that we have and we're both ok now. I see he was trying to be nice and the kids had been bad all night. He sees that I was tired and just wanted to relax. But it was still a rather awful night.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Free Pastry Day at Starbucks!
Today is free pastry day at Starbucks. All I have to do is go to http://www.starbucks.com/freepastryday and print out a coupon. Then I get a free Marble Loaf with my standard Venti Non-fat Toffee Nut Chai. Mmmmm. . . and yes, I know this runs counter to my previous post where I need to lose weight. One step at a time. Maybe I'll only order a Grande. . .
In other news, I may have convinced Husband we should join the local YMCA instead of using the Ohio State RPAC facility. The YMCA is probably 10-15 minutes away vs. the 45 minute drive to OSU. As a family, we'd be more likely to use the YMCA. And he's no longer working out at RPAC every day with his co-worker. The YMCA has daycare available for when we want to work out. I get a $250 annual allowance at work for gym memberships and the YMCA counts. So this morning I'm looking into the costs and benefits. Maybe with my bonus check?
In other news, I may have convinced Husband we should join the local YMCA instead of using the Ohio State RPAC facility. The YMCA is probably 10-15 minutes away vs. the 45 minute drive to OSU. As a family, we'd be more likely to use the YMCA. And he's no longer working out at RPAC every day with his co-worker. The YMCA has daycare available for when we want to work out. I get a $250 annual allowance at work for gym memberships and the YMCA counts. So this morning I'm looking into the costs and benefits. Maybe with my bonus check?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wet clothes
How do I explain to Husband that wet clothes don't get hung from my beautiful, cherry wood doors? He went to the pool yesterday to rehab his arm. This morning, I find his swim trunks and towel hung over the top of the laundry room door.
We had this issue with bathroom towels, too. We argued over it. Now we have new towel racks in our bathroom for our towels and the kids' towels. No more towels over the wood doors. I guess we didn't discuss the laundry room doors and swim trunks!
At the old house, I didn't like it but didn't fight it as much. The doors weren't real wood. Here, though, the doors are beautiful. I don't want water stained doors! Any thoughts on how I can get him to stop?
We had this issue with bathroom towels, too. We argued over it. Now we have new towel racks in our bathroom for our towels and the kids' towels. No more towels over the wood doors. I guess we didn't discuss the laundry room doors and swim trunks!
At the old house, I didn't like it but didn't fight it as much. The doors weren't real wood. Here, though, the doors are beautiful. I don't want water stained doors! Any thoughts on how I can get him to stop?
292 lbs.
Well, I'm fat again. Yep. I knew it. I haven't been watching what I eat, I've stopped working out, I stopped writing down what I eat, and now I'm only eight pounds away from that magic number. I don't fit into any of my spring/summer clothes because I got rid of all of the clothes this size last summer swearing I would NEVER fit into them again. And here I am again. Yuck.
There's a competition at work similar to the Biggest Loser. I opted not to participate for two reasons: 1) I didn't want people at work to know how heavy I am and 2) this is my most stressful time of year and I don't want the added stress of a competition. However, if I truly want to commit, I need to learn to deal with the stress in a healthier way.
This, as I keep telling Husband, needs to not be a "diet" but a "lifestyle change." We've tried together several times and his methods don't work for me. I believe in moderation. He believes in cutting out. When he gets to a number he's happy with, he "takes a day off" from the "diet" and indulges. Then we never get back on track. I think, if I'm going to be successful, there are going to be a few things I need to do:
There's a competition at work similar to the Biggest Loser. I opted not to participate for two reasons: 1) I didn't want people at work to know how heavy I am and 2) this is my most stressful time of year and I don't want the added stress of a competition. However, if I truly want to commit, I need to learn to deal with the stress in a healthier way.
This, as I keep telling Husband, needs to not be a "diet" but a "lifestyle change." We've tried together several times and his methods don't work for me. I believe in moderation. He believes in cutting out. When he gets to a number he's happy with, he "takes a day off" from the "diet" and indulges. Then we never get back on track. I think, if I'm going to be successful, there are going to be a few things I need to do:
- Not worry about what husband eats or brings into the house (i.e., cookies, chocolate Chex mix, ice cream).
- Begin planning so that the default dinner isn't fast food.
- Allow myself time to work out.
- Be able to ask for "me time."
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Igor's pedometer & new-found love of B-ball
Igor has discovered his gift from participating in his school's walk-a-thon: a pedometer. Husband found it on top of the refrigerator (where all good things go to hide) while he was hunting for his work ID that he has misplaced. Since then, Igor has been wearing it all day and loudly proclaiming how many steps he's had. Just reminds me that I miss my pedometer - the battery has died and I need to buy a new one. Just haven't gotten to it.
Igor has also discovered his mom's joy in March Madness basketball. It's my favorite sport - odd since I almost never get to enjoy it due to the timing of peak season in my chosen profession - and it looks like he's going to really enjoy it. We're watching Ohio State play Georgia Tech right now. Go Buckeyes! But I think Husband is a bit disappointed how excited that Igor gets over basketball compared to football.
Oh, and I think I'm going to start holding myself accountable by weighing in and posting every week. . . .we'll see how that goes.
Igor has also discovered his mom's joy in March Madness basketball. It's my favorite sport - odd since I almost never get to enjoy it due to the timing of peak season in my chosen profession - and it looks like he's going to really enjoy it. We're watching Ohio State play Georgia Tech right now. Go Buckeyes! But I think Husband is a bit disappointed how excited that Igor gets over basketball compared to football.
Oh, and I think I'm going to start holding myself accountable by weighing in and posting every week. . . .we'll see how that goes.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Inside the Garbage Disposal
Iago has this insane idea that you should put things in the garbage disposal and run it for, like, a second and that mashes everything up and you can turn it off and be fine. Ok. I don't know if he has that idea, but he must. Tonight, I was working on trying to make a color flow leprechaun for a St. Patrick's Day Green Velvet Cake I'm making for our work potluck on Wednesday. I went to clean up all of my tools and the sink started backing up. Hmm. . . I wonder what's in there?
Mind you, since the boys had been with grandpa for dinner, I had brought home McDonald's. No cooking was done by me since the dinner last night.
I stuck my hand down the disposal and pulled out what was clogging it. Imagine my surprise when I pulled out two cabbage cores and two potatoes. By the way, cabbage, potatoes, and sausage is what Iago is making for himself and the boys for lunch this week. Yuck! I guess the conversation about not putting potatoes down the garbage disposal really hasn't sunk in. Just like many other conversations.
Mind you, since the boys had been with grandpa for dinner, I had brought home McDonald's. No cooking was done by me since the dinner last night.
I stuck my hand down the disposal and pulled out what was clogging it. Imagine my surprise when I pulled out two cabbage cores and two potatoes. By the way, cabbage, potatoes, and sausage is what Iago is making for himself and the boys for lunch this week. Yuck! I guess the conversation about not putting potatoes down the garbage disposal really hasn't sunk in. Just like many other conversations.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Husband's Broken Arm - Part 3
Tuesday. Day of surgery. We are being pounded with heavy snow. I haven't slept much because, well, Hannibal obviously has a stomach bug of some sort and was up most of the night. I get a text message at the wee hours of the morning, followed by a voice mail, from the school district's automated notification system to tell us what we already knew - no school for Igor. We get up early so we can be out the door by 6:00 a.m. since we're due at the hospital at 7:30 and with all the snow we're getting we wanted to get there early.
We drive the long, tortuous path to the hospital, avoiding crazy people who seem to have never seen snow. The snow is falling in large, fluffy, wet flakes and sticking to the windshield wipers. We pull into the parking lot at the hospital and then we carefully navigate across the street without slipping on the ice - what got us into this in the first place! Husband is having what seems like post-traumatic stress over a fear of falling in the snow.
We get to the hospital. We check in. We pay the $300 co-pay. Ouch. Well, more points on my credit card to save up for the refrigerator. . . then we head up to the surgery waiting room. Very few people there. Except the older lady who is to help us. She informs us the tracking screens up here are not working (these are screens where you can watch for your loved one's number and see where in surgery they are - preop, surgery, post-op, etc.). I had packed plenty of things for my wait the night before: deck of cards, magazines, snacks, iPod, etc.
Husband was 3rd on the schedule for the doctor (and last). The doctor came out to talk to another family and stopped by to see us. First time I'd met him since Husband has been shuffled between many docs at the ortho clinic. He wasn't as arrogant as the other guy. He told us it wouldn't be long. I have Husband make a list of questions he wants me to ask the doctor after surgery.
Doctor comes out again to talk to another patient and sees Husband still waiting. He is a bit surprised and tells us they should have taken Husband back already for anesthesiology so he'll be ready for surgery. One minute after the doc leaves, they come to take him. And my wait begins. . . (more later, have to go wake the kids)
We drive the long, tortuous path to the hospital, avoiding crazy people who seem to have never seen snow. The snow is falling in large, fluffy, wet flakes and sticking to the windshield wipers. We pull into the parking lot at the hospital and then we carefully navigate across the street without slipping on the ice - what got us into this in the first place! Husband is having what seems like post-traumatic stress over a fear of falling in the snow.
We get to the hospital. We check in. We pay the $300 co-pay. Ouch. Well, more points on my credit card to save up for the refrigerator. . . then we head up to the surgery waiting room. Very few people there. Except the older lady who is to help us. She informs us the tracking screens up here are not working (these are screens where you can watch for your loved one's number and see where in surgery they are - preop, surgery, post-op, etc.). I had packed plenty of things for my wait the night before: deck of cards, magazines, snacks, iPod, etc.
Husband was 3rd on the schedule for the doctor (and last). The doctor came out to talk to another family and stopped by to see us. First time I'd met him since Husband has been shuffled between many docs at the ortho clinic. He wasn't as arrogant as the other guy. He told us it wouldn't be long. I have Husband make a list of questions he wants me to ask the doctor after surgery.
Doctor comes out again to talk to another patient and sees Husband still waiting. He is a bit surprised and tells us they should have taken Husband back already for anesthesiology so he'll be ready for surgery. One minute after the doc leaves, they come to take him. And my wait begins. . . (more later, have to go wake the kids)
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